Not Happy - Updated to A Bit More Happy

The business trip went well, the vineyards overlooking the Douro River are just beautiful and the clients seemed really interested. That’s the good news.

The bad news is I’ll have to work tomorrow (Saturday) and I’ll have to go back to Porto on Monday and Tuesday. Since we’re leaving for Barcelona on Wednesday you can probably tell I’m not happy about this. The airport has become my second home.
I’m counting on a promotion in April/May and after I get it things will have to change. If I don’t get it… well, I don’t even like want to think about that.

Update: I will still have to work tomorrow, but I won't have to go to Porto next week afterall, which is v. good.

Yet another business trip

I’m leaving tomorrow for yet another business trip to Porto. This time, I will stay there until Friday (2 nights), and I’ll be visiting vineyards is Douro (I’m not sure if I told you before, but we are selling a Port Wine company). I hear the vineyards are beautiful, especially in the Spring, and I’m looking forward to see it, since I’ve never been up in that part of the country.

However, I’m starting to feel guilty. I knew this was inevitable but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. As I gain more and more responsibility at work I knew I would have to travel more often and spend more time away from the kids. But M is only 5 months old and I can’t help but feel a knot in the pit of stomach, made even worse by the fact that we are going to Barcelona next week, thus leaving them once again.
To make things worse, I have a really big presentation tomorrow, also in Porto, and I’ll probably be working on it all night, which means I won’t see the kids today either. I’ll take R to school tomorrow, and give M his morning bottle, but that just isn’t enough.

I love this job, but I am seriously considering starting to look for something else.

The Wedding - Part III

It seems I might have won the flower girls dresses fight after all. My SIL was seriously considering yellow as of yesterday. The colour of the waistband is yet to be decided but I’m happy already. She will buy the fabric this week and then there’s no turning back. And then I’ll buy some extra fabric and make something for M as well.
The invitations are also being printed this week and we should start sending them in a couple of weeks. They are doing an exact copy of our invitation. Not very creative, but it will work.

The problem now is the wedding list. They need about everything, but have absolutely no idea on which style to decorate the house. They ended up going to this really classic and old-style store, but everything was too expensive. Now they are going to Ikea to see what they have. Can you tell they’re confused?

My 15 year-old BIL came to me yesterday to ask if I could ask SIL to invite his girlfriend to the wedding. In this family, things don not work like that. When Z and I started going out, and even though everyone knew we were going out, one of my SILs had to introduce me as her friend, and for a long time (years), I was invited there in the quality of Joana’s friend. It’s kinda ridiculous, I know, but that’s the way it is. So inviting the kid’s girlfriend did not seem like a good idea. I did talk to my SIL though, and she said she’ll invite the girl to come to the party, after dinner, (as a friend, of course) and he was happy enough.

To be continued…

The things we learn while praying

Every night, when we put R to bed, we pray with her. We ask her what she liked the most during the day, she thanks Jesus for it and then we say a small prayer. Usually the things she liked the most are stuff like going to grandma's house, or feeding the fish, or something she did at school. But sometimes she really surprises us.

A few weeks ago, while I was still on maternity leave, I went to pick her up at school (usually my housekeeper picks her up). That night I asked her what she had liked the most and the answer was "that mommy picked me up from school". It was really a slap in the face to realize how small things I sometimes don't do because I'm lazy have such a big importance for her. Now that I'm working I can't pick her up from school, but I can take a few minutes to do something special with her and I have to do it.

Then the day before yesterday Z asked her what she'd liked the most that day and she says "Gonçalo Oliveira" (one of her school buddies). And from that day on that's been her answer everytime.

The Wedding - Part II

The wedding preparations and going along.
I lost the flower-girls dresses fight and it seems the poor kids are indeed going to wear a white dress with a brown/gold waistband. I was thinking more in terms of yellow or turquoise, or even white with a yellow or turquoise waistband. But white and brown? What can I say? I will post pictures as soon as R’s dress is ready.
I did, however, manage to convince them not to print the invitations at home, and actually have a professional make them. Win some, lose some.
These people, coming from such a big family, are obsessed about saving money. Flowers, as you probably know, are an expensive thing (at least here they are), and my SIL was livid when they told her a tulip bouquet would cost her 75 euros. She says she’ll make her own bouquet and she is also planning on making the centrepieces herself. One more thing I’ll try to talk her out of.

One major problem with this family is punctuality. Now, I admit I am a bit anal about this. I. Hate. Waiting. But most of all, I absolutely hate making other people wait. Hate it. But my in-laws are always at least 1 hour late for everything and several of my SILs and BILs are often sleeping at 2 pm when we get there for lunch on Sundays. It’s ridiculous.
The wedding is at 2.30 pm (a very bad time, if you ask me, but I lost this one as well), which means the photographer will be at my in-laws at 12.30 pm, which means everyone will have to ready by then. By everyone, I mean MIL and FIL, 5 SILs, 3 BILs, 3 grandparents and my niece. That’s 14 people. Do you know at what time the first person has to start taking a shower? Why doesn’t anyone else seem to be worried about this?

Of course, I’m the one who’s taking my SIL (the bride) to the hairdresser that day (my hairdresser, I don’t trust anyone else), and I want to be there at 9 am. She could come to the house, but with 7 other women there, it’s too much of a risk.

To be continued…

Pictures

It’s been a while since I last posted any pictures hasn’t it? So here are a couple I took of the kids last night. Aren’t they just sweet when they’re sleeping?

Homecoming

Homecoming was great. It’s always the best part of travelling isn’t it? R was over excited the whole weekend, she didn’t take a nap either day and I was kinda glad to see her go to school this morning. Gotta love the routine.
Yesterday was Father’s Day here, so today Z dropped her off at school, where they had coffee and cake for the dads, activities for them to do with the kids and of course, gifts made by the kids.

Today we took M to his brain ultrasound and, sure enough, the doctor said he’s fine. All this worrying was for nothing and I’m pissed that the x-ray technician would write a report like that. But it’s over now, and that’s all that matters.

From Porto - Part IV

I’m finally going back home today. I must admit I didn’t think these 5 days would be this hard. I miss the kids and Zé Maria so much, I’m sick of being alone and I’m terribly homesick.
I’ve spent time away from Rosarinho before (not from Manel though, obviously). In fact, last year on our trip to the US we spent 10 days away from her. But it was always on vacation, with hubby and somewhere fun. This is different. I’m alone here, I have to work all day and have nothing to do at night. I’m so ready to go home now.

Yesterday my Dad was here, also on a business trip, and we went out for dinner. He showed me around the city (which he knows well and I know not) and took me to this really fancy restaurant. The food was great, the company too and it was a nice change from dining alone at the mall. Today we are taking the same flight back to Lisbon, which is also nice. My Mom organized a family dinner at her house tonight, with my sister and her family, and informed me that my Dad and I will take a cab from the airport and meet them there. What I really wanted was for Z and the kids to pick me up at the airport and just go home. But my Mom seems to think that my coming home is cause for celebration. With her, anything is an excuse for a family dinner. Ugh

From Porto - Part III

Although I’m starting to really get home sick, I’ve been doing my best to enjoy the time I have to spend here.
My hotel is very close to two of the city’s biggest malls so I’ve been shopping a lot. I bought gifts for the kids, for hubby and also for my Mom, who always asks me to bring her something when I travel (she’s almost like a kid herself sometimes). And of course, a little something (or things to be more accurate) for myself.
But there is only so much time you can spend shopping (in my case at least, because some of my friends can easily spend a lifetime shopping), so last night I went to the movies. I saw Brokeback Mountain. It’s a sad, romantic story and it’s quite entertaining, but if you ask me, it didn’t deserve the oscar anyway.
This evening I’m having dinner with my Dad, who comes to Porto on business every week.

Yesterday I called R at 7 pm and she said I was late. When I told her I wouldn’t be home for a couple more days she asked me if I miss her. She sounded kinda sad but when I said I had bought her a gift she got all excited. Kids are so easy to please.

Things are going really well back home. My SILs have been helping Zé Maria a lot, and he even went to one of our friends’ birthday party yesterday and left the kids with one of them.
I know I’m incredibly lucky that I can leave my kids alone with their dad for a whole week. Most of my friends wouldn’t leave their kids alone with their husbands for one night, let alone a week. Zé Maria really is the best father. And I’m also incredibly lucky that I can leave them with my parents to travel with my husband, We’re leaving for Barcelona in less than 3 weeks!

Crisis over

A perfect nonsense. That's how the neuro-surgeon described the x-ray report.

He looked at his head, checked the record of his encephallic perimeters from birth, looked at the x-ray and said this is the typicall case of a position-caused problem that will correct itself within 6 months. He was absolutely adamant that he does not need an MRI.
He will have the brain ultrasound on Monday, as schedulled, because it's standard procedure.

So no MRI and no sedation on Saturday. I'm so relieved.

Neuro-surgeon appointment tomorrow

More on that later

From Porto - Part II (updated)

I’m writing this from my hotel room in Porto. Don’t you just love hotel rooms? People say they’re cold and lonely but I completely disagree. I heart hotel rooms. And hotel breakfasts, aren’t they the best?
Despite my confessed love for hotel rooms, I wish I was home with hubby and the kids. This morning I woke up at 5 am to catch the first flight here. I called Zé Maria and he says Manel slept uninterruptedly until 8. He hadn’t been sleeping so well lately, since the gastroenteritis, so I was happy to hear that he’s apparently back to his old self and hubby will be sleeping properly. Makes it easier for me to enjoy my time away.

So, since I do have to stay here for a whole week, I might as well make the best of it right?
I’ve spent the day working and am now going to take a shower and then go to the mall, maybe see a movie and grab a bite to eat. Then I’m gonna come back to the hotel and read a bit before going to bed.

Update
I ended up not going to the movies after all. I had dinner, bought Rosarinho a gift and went back to hotel, where I read and watched TV. And slept 9 hours straight!
This morning I spoke to Zé Maria and Manel slept through until 6.30, which wasn’t so bad. And R slept in our bed with him. It seems they’re doing fine without me.

From Porto - Part I

I'm in Porto already, and I have internet access, which is a good surprise. I'll be here all week, supervising a data room, which basicly means surfing the internet while looking really really busy.

As for Manel’s situation, I must say I’m much calmer now than I was when I first read the x-ray report. What it says is that his head is abnormally shaped (but we knew that just from looking at it right?) and that this abnormality can be related to an abnormal development of the brain (I’m not sure if “related” means it can cause said abnormal development or can be caused by it). It’s their job to say what the worse scenario is, but both M’s pediatrician and the pediatric surgeon said they think it’s nothing. And my gut instinct tells me the same. Anyway, a good friend of my SIL’s is a neuro-radiologist and I called her up. She will do the MRI on Saturday, and we’ll clear this up. The problem is, Manel will have to be sedated for this. I know it’s only a mild sedation, not nearly a general anesthetic, but still, the idea of my baby being put under is scary as hell. But we’ll live through it, and I’m sure everything will be fine.

Back on the rollercoaster

The x-ray report was not good.
It says they observe alterations in Manel's skull that can be related to alterations in his brain development. It strongly suggests an MRI of the brain.

More later.

In which I'll be gone for a week

On Monday I’m going on a business trip to Porto and I’ll be there all week until Friday. That’s 4 nights people! 5 days and 4 nights for hubby to take care of the kids all by himself. Well, maybe not ALL by himself but still…
It should actually be 5 nights because on Monday I have to be there at 9 a.m. But I decided to take the 7 a.m. flight (which means getting up at 5.30) just so he doesn’t have to spend one more night alone.

I admit I’ve been worrying about this, and I’ve tried to convince him to let me ask one of his sisters to stay over until I come back. But he just won’t have it. I’m worried that he won’t get any sleep, that he’ll be exhausted from working and taking care of a toddler and a baby and then not getting any sleep to recover. Granted, my housekeeper comes at 9 a.m. everyday and leaves at 7 p.m., she picks up R from school, bathes both kids and prepares dinner. And my mom says she’ll come help him with dinner and bedtime everyday. But still, I’m kinda uncomfortable.

So this morning, after a rough night (R had to pee at 5 a.m., thus waking M up, who then wanted to be fed) I told him I would take both kids out of the house both Saturday and Sunday morning so he could sleep late and rest before I leave. You know what he asked? Why was I so worried about him waking up with the kids at night after a day’s work if that is what I do everyday? You know what? He’s absolutely right. Why should I worry about it? I do that everyday and I’m fine, so I’m sure he will be too.

So I started looking on the bright side of all this. And let me tell you, this will be one hell of a week for me. I’ll work from 9.30 a.m. to 6.30 p.m. and then I’m totally and completely free. I’ll go to the movies, grab some dinner or order room-service, read a book, watch some TV, go to bed at 11 and sleep. Doesn’t it sound like heaven?

So far so good

Yesterday I took Manel to the pediatric surgeon, mainly to rule out a congenital torticollis. And we were successful at that. He says Manel’s neck is fine, his movement range is fine, and the only reason he looks right all the time is because he’s used to it. We are doing all the right things to change that and I even think we are starting to see some improvement.

Then we talked about the other scenario, which is that his skull bones are not closing properly and he would need a helmet or eventually surgery to correct it. This is not his specialty and he says that if either the x-ray or the ultrasound should show anything suspicious we should go to a neurosurgeon. However, his opinion is that the flat head is merely an esthetical issue which will get better once he starts being upright more often and once he’s used to looking left. He told me several times it was most likely nothing to worry about.

So we’re a lot less worried now. We’ll wait for the results on the ultrasound and x-ray to be absolutely sure but I’m sure we’ll sleep a lot better now.

New worries

Having a child is and endless source of entertainment. In this case, not in a good way.

Manel's head is flat on the back, a little to the right. It wasn’t always like that but we’ve noticed it a couple of months ago. We are convinced it’s from lying down all day, and since he usually turns his head to the right it got that funny shape.
Yesterday, I asked the ped about it. She looked at it and she thinks it's a little more flat than normal. She says many kids get this and it’s only positional (what we think), and it eventually goes back to normal once they start sitting upright. However, since Manel’s is a little more flat than usual, she wants to run some tests just to make sure the bones in his skull close properly and do not get on top of each other.
So today he's going in for a skull x-ray, then tomorrow we have an appointment with a pediatric surgeon to rule out a problem with his neck (which would explain why he always turns his head to the right) and next week he has a brain ultrasound. Once everything is done, we're to take all the results back to her and if something is wrong, then we'll take him to a neurosurgeon to see if he has to have surgery to correct the skull.
The scenarios are:
1 – it’s just positional and it’ll go away on its own
2 – he has a problem in his neck muscles and will need physical therapy
3 – his bones are not closing properly and he’ll need surgery to correct it
The ped says she only had 1 case where surgery was necessary, in 30 years of practice. She thinks it’s most likely nothing but wants to be on the safe side. And so do we, of course. So the next few days are going to be a bit stressful. I’ll update regularly.

Sick baby, tired mommy

Manel is sick. He threw up twice last night and has horrible diarrhea. I had to change his clothes about fifty times this weekend and the laundry basket this morning looked so scary my housekeeper almost had a heart attack.
I’m not sure what to do about it, since his diet is not that varied and he does not like to be fed water. I gave him his bottle this morning and he’s kept it down so far so hopefully he’s getting a little better.
On a very happy coincidence, my sister asked me to switch ped appointments with her (D’s was today, M’s on wednesday) because she can’t make it today, so at least I’ll be able to get him seen soon. I just hope whatever he has can be cured before my business trip next week (more on that later), or else hubby is gonna go nuts.

Tired, so tired.

I had forgotten how unstable and unpredictable life can be with a small baby. Everything is a potential cause for disturbance, from a minor change in their usual routine to a change in their diet or a more-crowded than usual room. And just like that, your life will change.
Manel is a very easy child. He eats everything we give him, he loves his veggies, his cereal, he sleeps through the night since he was 2 months old, he smiles all the time. Well… not anymore. Or at least not for the past few days anyway.
For some reason (definitely of an intestinal nature, judging from the smell), he hasn’t been able to sleep for 2 hours straight since last Monday. He wakes up screaming and twitching, clearly in pain, and nothing I do seems to help. I’m so tired it’s not even funny. We have to get our old baby back, as soon as possible, at the risk of me loosing my sanity.
I do have a plan. I’m going to switch the cereal to lunch time and the veggies to dinner time, because cereal is harder to digest and maybe that’s what’s giving him trouble at night. I’m also going to start giving him apple sauce this weekend and see if that helps. And I bought this herbal tea my best friend swears works wonders with her baby. Hopefully one/all of these will have a positive effect.
It’s amazing how sleep deprivation (even if it is just for a few nights) can affect my mood. Argh.

This year, Barcelona

As I said yesterday, hubby and I are planning on going to Barcelona for a few days in April. This is only my second week back at work so I’m going to wait a couple more weeks before I talk to my boss about it, but I’m pretty sure he’ll be ok with it.
The idea is to leave on Wednesday morning and come back on Sunday afternoon. Since it’s only a 2,5 hour flight, we should still be able to do something on Wednesday and enjoy 3 full days all alone.

Ever since we got married (going on 5 years!) we’ve decided that we wanted to take one trip just the two of us (which basically means no kids) every year. So far we’ve been keeping our resolution with one minor adjustment.
On the first year of marriage, before R was born, we went to Brazil, London, Rome and New York. Can you tell life was grand before the kids came?
Then on the year R was born we went to Paris when she was 4 months old. I was exhausted and we slept a lot, but we also got to spend some time alone for the first time since she’d been born and it was so good. Of course all I ever talked about was “my baby” and I missed her like crazy. But it was still very much worth it.
The year after that we went to Cuba. I had just had the molar pregnancy and was emotionally drained. Those days were life-saving to us.
Last year we went to the US again. New York and Miami. Only this time we went with a couple friends of ours (hence the minor adjustment). It was the longest trip we took since R was born (10 days) and we had so much fun.
This year, Barcelona!

I know it may sound shallow, but these trips have become essential to us. We save all the money we can throughout the year in order to be able to take them. They are a crucial time for us, a time to look back and evaluate our life, our marriage, our parenting, a time to readjust our plans for future, to make resolutions and to correct mistakes, a time to fall back in-love with each other, to remember why we’re together and to renew our promises.
We will keep having this trip every year. If we can’t afford to go out of the country, we’ll spend a week at cheap inn somewhere close by. It doesn’t really matter where we go, as long as we go.

Rosarinho funnies

Apparently, I’m raising a fashion victim. The other day we left Manel at my in-laws during the afternoon and we went to the mall with R because we needed to get a guide of Barcelona (our next trip, I’ll go into that later). After having bought what we came for, we were heading towards the elevators and she says, with a very serious expression on her face “Mommy, I need to buy shoes”.
Then yesterday, while we were in the car, I asked her what she had learned with Anette (her English teacher) this week. In the middle of the conversation she asks
Como é que se diz Mãe em Inglês? (How do you say Mum in english?)
e Pai? (and Dad?)
e Avó? (and Grandma?)
e compras? (and Shopping?)
I think I’m going to be in serious trouble in a few years.

But she’s not all shallow (I’m kidding of course). Sometimes, she truly amazes me. We were having lunch at a restaurant yesterday and some men came in and started singing and playing guitar. She turns to me and says: “There are people singing over there, on the right”. We all stopped and stared at her and my BIL asks “Did she say on the right?”. So we asked her if she knows where right and left is and she does, and she gets it right every time! I don’t get it right every time, especially if I’m driving. My child truly amazes me I tell you.