TGIF

Why is it that today, April 29th, I’ve had visitors to my blog from Uganda, Switzerland, Iran, Philippines, Indonesia, Singapore, Morocco and Pakistan (and Portugal and the US, of course)? Why today? I didn’t write anything special the last few days and these people didn’t come here through a search engine… I guess it will remain a mystery. But everyone is welcome, of course.

The dinner party last night went well, even though I was exhausted from driving 600 km in one day. R woke up when our friends arrived and wanted to come meet everyone so she ended up going to bed really really late. This morning, obviously, she didn’t want to wake up and I practically had to drag her to school.
Today we have another dinner party at our house, with 15 people. Yes, I realize I’m pregnant, and tired, and that I’m supposed to take it easy by doctor’s orders. Tell that to my dear husband! Tomorrow he is going to take R out as soon as she wakes up and I am going to sleep in. That’s a promise!

Sunday is Mother’s Day here!

Another exhausting day

Yesterday when I dropped R off at pre-school, one of the girls in her class was sitting just outside the classroom, apparently in time-out. She was really angry and the teacher kept telling her she could not get up or come in the classroom until she was calm.
Later in the evening, when I was giving R her dinner I asked why Catarina was in time-out. "She has a bad temper" was her answer! A bad temper? Zé Maria and I couldn't stop laughing because of the way she said that, looking so serious. I wonder were she gets these expressions from and how she knows exactly how to use them!

Today I have a meeting in Porto, about 300 km from Lisbon, which means I will have to drive 3 hours each way. I really should consider taking a plane because my OB is not too happy about me driving long stretches with the low placenta and all. But I'm going with my boss and the idea of me taking the plane and him driving is just too much for him.
Then I'll have friends over for an after-dinner coffee tonight. I won't be home until 9 pm so that means Zé Maria will have to make dinner and then get everything ready for the coffee. That should be fun!

14 weeks tomorrow!

I need a vacation again!

We had a really nice long weekend. Monday was a holiday here so we got to spend 3 days at home. I know it has only been a week since we came back from vacation but this pregnancy is really taking its toll on me and I feel so tired. Hopefully that will get better now that I’m in the second trimester. I had to wear maternity jeans for the first time during the weekend because I couldn’t button my regular ones. Soon I’ll have to start wearing maternity pants to work too.

On Saturday we had a friend’s kid’s birthday party and on Sunday we went to the beach with some friends and 9 children. It wasn’t warm enough to take our clothes off but the kids played in the sand and we had a great time. R really loves the beach and she spends the entire winter asking to go. We’ll have to start going more often now that the weather is nicer.

Then yesterday we had my grandma’s 84th birthday. The family all got together and we had a really nice time. It’s been only 3 months since my grandpa died and it’s still painful for all us. We miss him dearly and family celebrations have become bitter-sweet.

May is going to be a long month. On the 6th we have my BIL’s Confirmation and I’m going to be his godmother. This will be followed by a family dinner. Then on the 7th we have a wedding and on the 14th we have 2 (yes, two) baptizings, one at 3.30 pm and one at 7.30 pm. What on earth am I going to wear?! And have I told you how tired I am? I need to go on vacation again.

It better be a boy now

I am not allowed to pick up R, at least until my next ultrasound. I had no idea how hard it would be! I realise now that I pick her up all the time. I pick her up when I put her to bed, when I take her to the potty, when I dress her, when I give her a bath.
So I have been trying to either avoid doing some of these things, like giving her a bath, or change the way I do them. This morning we both sat on the floor while I was dressing her and putting her shoes on, instead of me picking her up and sitting her on the dresser. And this morning she walked all the way to school, instead of me carrying her part of the way.
She understands that something is different and she keeps asking me to pick her up. That obviously doesn’t make it any easier. I guess we will both have to get used to this new phase and to the idea that she is no longer a baby.
Zé Maria told her the baby’s name is Manel and now she is always repeating it. He just couldn’t help it, and he told everyone we’re having a boy. I really hope it is a boy or she is going to get confused!

I am 13 weeks today. That means I am in the second trimester, supposedly the best part of the pregnancy. I had promised myself I would enjoy every moment of this pregnancy and not wish time would go buy faster. But I guess it just isn’t meant to be that way. I can’t wait for my belly to start growing and for other people to actually notice I’m pregnant. I have all my maternity clothes washed, ironed and ready to use and I can’t wait to start wearing it, even though I most definitely don’t need it yet. And I’m sure once my belly is big I’ll wish the baby was born already so I can have my old body back. Women are just like that, or at least I am.

Much Ado About Nothing

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I had my OB appointment today.
She went through the ultrasound report and looked at the pictures and said everything looked great. She said the fact that the placenta was low was most likely nothing to worry about and that it should move up by itself in the next few weeks. She did however confirm that I am to take it easy for awhile, avoid picking up weights, avoid intercourse and heavy exercising.

She never even mentioned the nuchal translucency result. I asked her about it and she said it is within the normal range and everything is fine. And that was it. No talk about cromossomal abnormalities or invasive testing or anything. How about that hun?!

I've lost the weight I gained while in the states (too much ice-cream) and I'm exactly at the same weight I was at 8 weeks (116 lbs). She was happy about that and so was I! We heard the heartbeat with the doppler and everything looked good. And that was it.

I will have my next ultrasound at 22 weeks.

Good news and bad news

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Good news

The baby was apparently healthy, moving around like crazy! We saw the heartbeat, and all the body parts were where they should be. Everything was measuring right on target for 12 weeks 4 days.

After a while the doctor focused on the "private parts" and he said he could see something in there. And so could we, it was pretty clear. Zé Maria asked him if it was a boy and he said he had not said that yet but there was definitely something there. So we might be having a boy!! I had no real preference but I am happy with the idea of having a boy. We won't start shopping just yet though.

Bad news

The placenta is partially previa, which means it is partially covering the cervix. He said in most cases it moves up but that I should avoid picking up heavy weights (Rosarinho, specifically) and no intercourse until the next ultrasound. So now I'll spend the next weeks, at least, telling R I can't hold her and telling hubby I can't have sex with him. That should be fun!

The nuchal translucency was 2.4 mm. The normal range is below 2.5 mm so it is borderline. The doctor told us to talk to the OB about the possibility of having an amnio to rule out down's syndrome.
Zé Maria and I talked about it. I'm only 25 and I have no indicator for down's so the risk of having the amnio (1.5% risk of miscarriage) is actually higher than the risk of down's, even with an almost-abnormal-but-not-quite nuchal translucency. And besides, even if the amnio ended up showing the baby has down's we would do nothing about it, other than try to be better prepared to care for him. So we decided against it.

I'm pretty calm about both these "bad news", but I admit I was hoping I would be able to finally breathe deep and fully enjoy this pregnancy. I should've known better and guessed I would have to wait until the baby is born.


PS: We have a new Pope! Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, now Benedict XVI. I must admit I wasn't expecting someone so conservative and so old (78) but I have faith that God will guide him.

I'm back.

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I had the best vacation ever! I really needed the rest and, to be totally honest, I needed the time alone with my husband, without R.

I loved NY. It was even better than I remembered, especially because the weather was great (it was raining the whole time when we were there 3 years ago).
I am getting attached to that city! We were in NY when I had my first positive HPT (I was pregnant with R), and I was there again to celebrate the end of the first trimester with this pregnancy.
But most of all, it’s where I got to meet my friends in person for the first time! I loved meeting them; they are everything I knew they would be. I felt so “at home” with them, it was amazing.

I also loved Miami. We spent the days at the beach, we drove down the Key West, we went to nice restaurants and we shopped (a lot!). It was so relaxing.

And then I loved coming home to R. I missed her so much it was almost painful. She was hysteric when she saw us, she hugged us and laughed and wouldn’t let go of us for the rest of the day! She looked so grown up to me, as if a week could actually make a difference.
She did great with my parents and she actually looked kinda sad when we left their house. Which is great, to know that she loves them and that we can always leave her there if we need to.

As for the pregnancy, I am finally in the second trimester! I’m still not showing, or at least people don’t say anything yet. I have gained ½ pound which makes it a total of 1,5 pounds. Not too bad for 12 weeks! I have an ultrasound tomorrow, and we’ll be measuring the nuchal translucency. Wish me luck!

Leaving tomorrow

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We're leaving tomorrow morning. We have to be at the airport at 8.30 am. NYC and Miami, here we come!

I am surprisingly nervous about leaving R this time. This is the third trip we take without her since she was born. When she was 4 moths old we went to Paris for a week and last year, when she was 15 months olds, we went to Cuba for 10 days. We left her with my parents both times, as we will this time too. She is very used to staying with my parents, she has her own room in their house, with her own bed, her toys, her bottles. It is a familiar environment and she loves staying there.

So why am I nervous this time? Probably because she is starting to realize we're going somewhere and she will definitely feel our absence more than she did before.
When she was 4 months old and we went to Paris she didn't notice anything at all. There was still someone she was familiar with around who fed her, played with her and put her to sleep, and when we got back she didn't have any reaction whatsoever.
Last year when we went to Cuba she noticed our absence but it didn't seem to bother her too much. My mom says she was happy as ever. We would call everyday but she hardly said anything on the phone and when we got back she simply ignored us. She almost seemed offended. But she got over it in a matter of hours and by the next day everything was ok.
This time she will definitely notice our absence. She has a more defined concept of time and she knows that when we say we will be back to get her the next day, she will sleep over at grandma's and the next day mommy and daddy will pick her up. So we will have to explain to her that it will be a bit longer this time and that mommy and daddy will not pick her up for a few days.
We will call everyday. And I'm sure she'll be fine with my parents. But I'm nervous that she will miss us, that she will be sad, and that she will be angry once we get back.

I think it's a good thing that children get used to spending some time away form their parents. I think it's good that she has a place she feels at home, other than our house. I think it makes her more independent, and it is really good for us, because we need the time alone. It's also good that she has a place she can stay for a few days when the baby is born.
I know we will enjoy this vacation, we will come back happier, more relax, less cranky. And I'm pretty sure she will enjoy this time with my parents. They are even taking a week off work to spend the entire time with her, and they'll do all sorts of fun programs, they'll take her to the zoo, to the park, to the beach. I just have to keep telling myself it will be ok.

PS: I will probably not update the blog until the 18th. Sorry about that.

Planning ahead

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I have been trying to prepare myself, my husband and particularly my daughter for the coming of this new baby.
The first few months with R were not easy, to say the least. We were not prepared for the complete change in our lives, our schedules, our routines. Well, I guess we were as prepared as we could be. No one really knows what it's like to care for a newborn until they have one.
The almost perfect equilibrium we have achieved now has been a hard conquest. We now have a well tested routine that works perfectly for us. We get up at 8.00 am, we shower and dress up R, we walk her to school and then we walk to work. At 5.00 pm the nanny picks her up from school and gives her a bath. At 6.30 pm I come home from work, give her dinner, we play a while and she goes to bed at 9.00 pm. I like to have a routine, I like to sleep through the night, I love being diaper free (for over 6 months now!!), I love it that she eats the same things we do.

But things will change once again. Our routine will be disrupted and we will have to adjust it again. And this time it's not only two adults having to adjust their routine, it's also an almost 3 year-old. I'm sure it won't be easy.

One of the things I could never do with R was having her in our room at night. I'm a light sleeper and I just couldn't sleep with her moving around just a few meters away. So we put her in her room as soon as we brought her home. But since we would like the new baby to share a room with R, it will be more complicated this time around. The baby will probably have to stay in our room until he/she is sleeping well enough not to wake up R. The third room in our house is too far away from ours to put the baby in it and I don't want to take R away form her room because of the baby.

We will have diapers again, and bottles, and special food for the baby. We will have several naps a day, feedings in the middle of the nights, pumping sessions. And in the middle of all this we will have a child who needs her routine to be kept as close to normal as possible. I have decided that I will keep R in school even during my 4 months maternity leave. That way I will be able to care for the baby during the day, do as many things as possible during that time, and then try to spend as much quality and alone time with her as possible once she comes home. Trying to keep her current schedule sounds like the best plan.

So, you mommies of more than one, do you have any tips for me on how to adjust to life with a new baby?

PS: Yes I have noticed the excessive use of the word routine. I have no pretensions to being a writer.

Mourning

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I'm mourning the loss of a great man. I'm not sad that he died, because he had been suffering for quite a while now and I'm sure he is in a better place, and I'm sure he's happy now. But I am sad that we lost him, and I'm reluctant to believe that another one as good as him will come next.
Karol Wojtila was elected Pope before I was born. I have been with him, in person, twice. I have prayed via video conference with him. And those were some of the most emotional and impressive moments of my life.
He was the Pope of my youth, of the years when my faith was more emotional, more breath taking, almost touchable, when we lived things to the limit.

I will miss you.

Spring

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Spring seems to have finally arrived. I love the spring, the long days, the sun, the warm weather.
Also, daylight saving time started here in Europe last Sunday, which means I still have a couple of hours of sunlight after I leave work. Today I may take R to the park after work, with her new "bike". She is so excited about it.



Yesterday after dinner R started crying that she wanted to go back to school. When I told her no one was there, the other kids were probably already asleep and the teacher was at home she started crying that she wanted to go to bed so she could go to school tomorrow. I hope she will be like this all the way through high school but I don't think I'll be so lucky.

I have a feeling I won't rest much this weekend. We have a kid's birthday party tomorrow and another one on Sunday. Tomorrow my friend (the one who's going to the States with us) is taking 10 kids to a theater play and since R is the youngest she asked me to go along and help her take care of the kids. The other parents will get the afternoon off, lucky bastards.

I am 10 weeks pregnant as of today. I'm still wearing all my regular clothes (including jeans) and I'm still only one pound up from my initial weight. I have finally convinced myself to unpack the maternity clothes this week, but I don't think I will be taking any on my trip.