Off to the beach

We’re going on vacation tomorrow, for 2 weeks. We’ll be going to my in-laws beach house with 14 or 15 other people and though it will be a bit chaotic, I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun.
The first time I went to their beach house in the summer, Zé Maria and I were still dating and I had to be officially invited by one of the SILs as her friend, as I couldn’t be invited as ZM’s girlfriend. Of course everyone knew I wasn’t really SIL’s friend, but it’s all a question of image. Anyway, spending a week in a house with 15 people and only 3 bathrooms was a real test to my ability to be a part of this family. Picture 15 people coming home from the beach at 7 pm and all of them having to shower, get dressed and ready for dinner at 8.30. It’s not pretty, I tell you. And cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning, everything assumes a whole different proportion. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be more peaceful in Israel.
We will take the laptop and will have internet access, so if anything exciting happens I’ll post something. If not, well, I’ll be here on the 14th.

Gone

Going on a business trip once again. Be back tomorrow evening and will try to post something interesting on Wednesday.

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode III

My SIL chose and ordered her wedding dress last Saturday. I don’t love it, but I guess it’s ok. She’s 1.47 m (4 feet 10 inches) tall (or short if you’d like), and on the chubby side (ok, she’s fat), so there isn’t one long white dress in the world that would make her look like a model. But she looked ok in it, and she was really happy, so that’s what matters.
My SIL who got married last month is paying for the dress, more as a gift to her mother, to thank her for her own wedding, than to older SIL. I’m still paying for the veil though.

We still haven’t further discussed the flower girls dresses but my MIL has made it quite clear that she will not be paying for new ones. I’m not sure if SIL will agree to use the same ones, but I still think it’s ridiculous to spend that kind of money on new dresses they will wear once, when they have perfectly good ones. But hey, that’s just my opinion.

A couple of nights ago we had a brainstorming session to discuss ideas for the reception. Having scheduled this wedding only 3 months in advance, my SIL has to get used to the idea that it will not be easy to find a great place, and we may have to settle for an ok place. So far we haven’t even found that. And since my MIL is seriously limiting the amount of money she’ll pay for the reception I don’t think it’ll be easy.

My FIL is still refusing to meet P until they are no longer living together. So my MIL is going to talk to them and see if SIL would be ok with coming back home on her birthday (September 23rd) and we would have a small birthday/engagement party then. Honestly, I don’t know what to say. If they agree, it will be painful to watch the charade, but at least things will be solved before the wedding.

To be continued…

It's not so bad after all

You all know that English is not my mother tongue. Although I know I get my point across (or at least so it seems, judging by your comments) I have my doubts about the quality of my spoken, but mostly my written, use of the language

So I took this test I got from Joe's blog, and here's the result. Not so bad hun?

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 80%

Punctuation: 80%

Spelling: 80%

Vocabulary: 60%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Work and stuff

I just realised I haven’t updated on my work situation for quite awhile now, and decided to write something about it. So here it goes.

As you may have noticed from the lack of business trips lately, things at work have calmed down a little. Summer is always kinda slow here and then it will start to pick up again in September. My boss is currently on vacation and his boss (the nice woman who told me I created a dangerous precedent by leaving at 7) is now very obviously pregnant and trying to slow down a bit (she’s 36 and apparently had been trying to get pregnant for quite awhile).

The promotions are now pretty much a thing of the past. Everyone in the damn office has already manifested their indignity about my non-promotion (the same ones, be sure, who would have clamed how unfair it was that someone who leaves at 7 gets promoted) and I’ve been assured time and again that I will certainly get the promotion next year. But all is nice and forgotten now.

As for me, I’ve thought about it a lot, I’ve taken my time to calm down and let my wounded pride heal and have come to a few conclusions. I’m 26 years old and have reached a rather enviable position in my career. I have more responsibility and make more money than most (if not all) of my (girl) friends. I like my job, I like the people I work with and, after 5 years, I know how things work around here, and people know how I work. And the office is a 5 minute walk from my house and R’s school, which is really a great thing. So basically I have to admit that this is a very good situation, and I shouldn’t let my pride force me into changing to something worse. Even the woman (the pregnant one) who hinted that I should start looking for a new job seems to have changed her position on the subject. So for now I’m staying here, doing my best as I always have (couldn’t do it any other way) and if I don’t get the promotion next year, then I’ll leave.

Staying

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, and it breaks my heart, but we will not be going to Israel next month after all. The situation is truly, how can I put it… complicated there, and the Portuguese government specifically asked Portuguese citizens not to travel to that region. I’m not sure when we will be able to go there, but I do know we will go as soon as we can. Meanwhile, I pray that things get better.

So we will be spending two weeks at my in-laws beach house, right in the middle of the wedding preparation caos, G*d help us. My SIL and BIL who got married last month will also be there for the two weeks, and they were thrilled to know they’ll have company. In the end, I’m sure it will be an entertaining vacation, and the kids love it there.

Q&A

Ok, this post is to answer a few of the questions you asked in the comments.
1 – No, it’s not a tradition for SILs to give the brides a dress. It’s just that one month ago I gave my other SIL her wedding dress and am afraid I’ve created a precedent by doing so. But that dress cost me 1,500 euros and I just don’t have that kind of money right now. I did talk to my SIL yesterday and offered to give her the veil, which she told me would cost 80 euros, so I guess she got the message that I won’t be giving her the dress.
2 – Can my other SILs and BILs give her the dress? Well, there are the younger ones who don’t work yet and couldn’t afford to. There’s the nun, and there’s the one who got married last month, and who currently can’t afford to for obvious reasons (honeymoon, new house). And then there are the older ones who could afford to but do not have the best relationship with this SIL right now. Particularly there’s my oldest BIL, who would easily be able to pay it all by himself, but who is currently not speaking to my SIL and is in fact questioning whether he’s even going to the wedding (that will make a whole new post).
3 – The flower girls dresses. I have suggested that we use the same ones and just change the ribbons, make them red or green instead of white. But my SIL says they’re the dresses my other SIL chose, the colour my other SIL chose and thinks she is as entitled as she was to have the dresses she chooses. So you see, she’s not the saint in all this, in fact, she’s quite the opposite sometimes.
4 – Elope. Well, when she first started talking about getting married I suggested that they did a small ceremony, with only family and a few friends and maybe a simple brunch or something. She flat out told me she wanted the white dress, the flower girls, the big party with all her friends, the whole circus. And would not settle for anything less, even if it meant she would have to wait another year to do it. When we were all convinced my in-laws would not pay for any of it (which they had sworn they wouldn’t), she said she would get a bank loan.
(OK, to be totally fair, the wedding will not be as big as my other SIL’s. There will be 100 guests instead of 180)

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode II

Things have not improved since I last wrote. In fact, if anything, they have gotten worse. My FIL still refuses to meet “a man who, at night, will sleep in my daughter’s bed”. My MIL has made it her personal crusade to convince him to let SIL and P come to dinner but so far all it’s gotten her was some serious fights. She tries to tell him that they do want to make it right, and he should be like the Father in the Prodigal Son story, and even Jesus dined with the publicans, etc. I have even offered my house (and got into a fight with my husband) for a family reunion, if being in neutral territory would make FIL more comfortable. But there seems to be nothing we can say to convince him.
And so SIL is starting to consider asking one of her brothers to walk her down the aisle. How sad is that?
Tomorrow we start looking for a wedding dress. This time I won’t have enough money to give her the dress as I gave my other SIL (with the trip to Brazil, the trip to Israel and the first dress…), but I kinda get the feeling she’s expecting me to, so I’ll have to find a subtle way to let her know I won’t. She’s been complaining that my in-laws spent all their money on my other SIL’s wedding and now there’s none left for hers, and she doesn’t want the flower girls to wear the same dresses …this is not going to be easy.

The Wedding - Season 2

The reason I haven’t been posting as regularly is, as usual, work. Between that, the children, and watching season 5 of “24” I just haven’t had time to write something remotely intelligent.

Anyway, The Family (if you can’t figure out who I’m talking about, read the Wedding saga) has big news. My oldest SIL, who has been “living in sin” (should read, living with her boyfriend not having married him) has been proposed to and will be getting married in October. That’s right, 4 months from now. Now how happy are you that there will be a second wedding saga for you guys to follow on my blog? And let me tell you, this one will be more dramatic than the last one.

So here’s the background: My oldest SIL is the black sheep in this family. She was a single mom at 21 and back then (I wasn’t in The Family yet) I’m told my FIL went a whole week without eating and had a nervous breakdown. This has been a defining event for this family. Just so you have an idea, when my MIL first met my Mom, the first thing she said was “You know about my daughter Maria, it’s a tragedy, but these things happen you know”. They always feel the need to justify it.
So last summer she starts dating this guy (will call him P) and within 1 month, she has moved out of my in-laws house with her daughter and P is living with them. You can imagine my in-laws reaction. They went nuts, they refused to meet the guy and practically condemned my SIL to burn in hell for all eternity.
Anyway, almost a year has passed and they’re still together. In January I finally convinced my husband to invite them over so we could meet him. And we liked him, a lot. And we started inviting them more often and we’re convinced he’s a wonderful person and he really loves her. And now they’re getting married.
About a month ago, when the rumours of marriage started, my MIL made a huge sacrifice (no irony here, it really was) and went to their house to meet P and told him it was nothing personal and they just didn’t agree with them living “in sin”. He told her he wanted to marry her and I think my MIL kinda liked him. But so far my FIL has never met him. He hasn’t even congratulated his daughter on her engagement. We’re all hoping he will meet the guy before the wedding, it would be rather awkward for him to give his daughter away at the altar to someone he’s never even seen.
P even suggested that SIL could go back to my in-laws house 2 weeks before the wedding so that things would all be “right”. And my MIL actually loved the idea!!!! These people are nuts I tell you, but they are sure a constant source of entertainement.
So get ready, it’s season 2 of The Wedding.

Pictures

There are too many, and I really don't have time to choose and since they are all uploaded to shutterfly anyway, here is the link, if anyone wants to see them.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbM3DNo2cM2X3

Today Portugal plays against France. I didn't think I would be nervous about it, but I am.

I'm back

We had a great time. We had three days of good weather and three days of not so good weather, so there was time to go to the beach and time to visit Salvador and shop and watch plenty of soccer. The kids did absolutely great, the flights went smoothly and we really got to rest and relax.
Brazil is beautiful of course. This was my third trip there and they were all so different. Salvador has absolutely nothing to do with Rio or even Porto Seguro, but it is a beautiful, beautiful city (though I dare say I liked Rio better). We will be going back to Brazil next year, though probably a little sooner.
I haven’t had time to download the pictures yet, since we arrived on Saturday, had a Baptism that day and a kids birthday party on Sunday. But I will do it soon and then post a few here.

Oh, and my boss did call me on my vacation, even though I thought I had left everything taken care of.