I'm about to kill my pet

R, has any other 5 year old child, I imagine, has been insistently asking for a puppy for the past… I don’t know, 3 years or so. Although I love dogs and have nearly brought home a 1 month old golden retriever a friend of mine offered last week, I do not think we can have a dog in a city apartment which is empty all day. It just wouldn’t work.

My parents, always the best grandparents in the world, have decided that the kids need a pet and if we won’t give them a puppy then they will take the matter into their own hands. So the kids got a canary for Christmas. A bright orange canary. And R named him Victor (no idea why, it’s such an uncommon name here). I actually like the bird, it’s beautiful and I like all animals, really.

But (you knew there would be a but right?), I think I may be starting to regret having accepted the gift. It started with M telling every one of our friends and family members he has a new “caraio” (you non-portuguese speaking people will not understand the seriousness of this, but it sounds just like a swear word for penis, which is really, really embarrassing). When he said that to my MIL I nearly died.
Then I realized I would be the one cleaning the cage (which I absolutely have to do every couple of days because I just can’t let the poor bird live in a dirty cage), but it’s really not that much trouble, to be honest.
The worse part is when the damn bird decides to start “singing” with the first light of dawn. This morning it was at 7.30 am. And I still had half an hour to sleep. It doesn’t seem to bother anyone else but it just kills me because I'm a light sleeper and no matter hown many doors I close I just can't stop hearing it. Especially on weekends. And what will happen when the days start getting longer and the sun rises at 6 am? This morning I could’ve have killed him, seriously.
What do I do? How do I shut the damn thing up? Help!