Taking it one day at a time

I had an appointment with my OB yesterday. I have gained 3.5 lbs in the past month, which adds up to a total of 9 lbs. I am gaining less than when I was pregnant with R, which is good because I ended up gaining 30 lbs with her and I certainly do not want to come even close to that this time.
She says that from the ultrasound report and from the size of my uterus, this baby is probably going to be significantly bigger that R was (she weighted a little more than 5.5 lbs), which means I will more than likely have to have a c-section. I am not happy with this idea but I’m getting used to it since she’s been mentioning it at every appointment.
Other than that, everything looks good. My blood pressure is normal and the b/h contractions haven’t increased in frequency or in intensity. She said we could resume our sexual activity, since the placenta moved up significantly, which really made Zé Maria (and myself, I must admit) quite happy. No need to tell you what we did last night, right?

I am, surprisingly, feeling better about the upcoming weeks. We will be moving out on Saturday and the men will start working on Monday. My mom has emptied a closet for us and a dresser for R, which was really nice of her, and we’ll have enough room to live comfortably for the 3 weeks we’ll have to spend there. I’ve also been looking at cleaning companies and we’ll hire one to clean our house before we move back in, which probably means we will still have to go back to my parents’ for a few days when we get back from Brazil. But somehow, I’m not as stressed out about that as I was a few days ago. I’ve decided to just take it one day at a time.

Today Zé Maria and my BIL have a meeting with his doctor and the surgeon who will be doing the transplant (yes, if you are paying attention, the meeting has been re-scheduled twice already), and hopefully they will come out with a surgery date. I’ll let you know once I know something.

Ultrasound update and other good news

The ultrasound went very well. We confirmed the baby is a boy, and his name will be Manuel Maria. The nurse had told me to drink some juice before going in so the baby was moving around like crazy. We were there for about 40 minutes, and the doctor got to see all the important stuff, like the heart, stomach, kidneys, liver, etc. Everything looked perfect.
The placenta went up a bit but it is still on the low side. The doctor said it will probably go all the way up before the baby is born. However, he did not say if I’m allowed to pick up R and, you know, have sex and all that. I have an appointment with my ob/gyn this afternoon so I’ll have to ask her about that.

My sister also had her ultrasound yesterday and they also confirmed that she is having a boy and everything is looking good. I bet these two kids are going to be best friends! It couldn’t have turned out better!

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In other news, I had a meeting at R’s pre-school this morning to enrol her for next year. Have I told you how much I love that school! It’s a small semi-public school (it’s run by a non-profit organization and has state subsidies) that takes kids from 1 to 6.
Anyway, the good news is they have English classes for kids over 3. I had been thinking of getting her private lessons next year, because I really want her to learn English as soon as possible, but they’re so expensive and I would have to drive across town to take her. I was so happy when the social worker asked me if I wanted to enrol her!
So next year, my baby will be in pre-school Monday through Friday from 9.00 am to 5.30 pm and she will have music and English classes. She’s growing up so fast! And for all of this, I will pay 220 euros per month (about $ 250). I think it’s a pretty good deal, don’t you?

Stressing out

I don’t know if you can tell from my posts but I am a bit of a control freak. I like to plan things to the most insignificant detail; I like my house to be clean and my things to be organized. So right now, with all that’s going on, I’m starting to feel like I’m loosing control and I’m on the verge of an anxiety attack.

As you know, we are moving in with my parents next weekend for 2 weeks while two of our bathrooms are going to be totally destroyed and remodelled (remind me to take those “before” pictures until Friday!!). After that we are going to Brazil for a week, which means I will have to pack both working clothes and vacation clothes, because we will only have access to our house after the bathrooms are finished, which will (hopefully) be by the time we get back from Brazil.

Because we are moving, and then going on vacation, and our house is going to be destroyed, we have decided not to start preparing for the baby until we have moved back in. And so we haven’t opened the boxes with R’s baby clothes and baby gear. And we haven’t changed R’s clothes to the big closet (the baby’s clothes will go in her closet and drawer), which means I haven’t cleaned up her closet since the winter, which means all her winter clothes that don’t fit her anymore are still in her closet along with her summer clothes, which is basically a total caos right now….

…ok, taking a break to breathe…


That’s better. Also, since we haven’t opened the boxes with the baby stuff, we don’t really know what we need to buy for the baby (and we will confirm if it’s a boy today so that has been a reason for this delay also). Which means we haven’t bought anything for him yet. And the bassinet we are going to use while he’s in our room is still stored away at my in-laws’, and the crib we will put him in once he is out of our room is still not in R’s room (we have decided they will share a room and the other bedroom will remain a playroom for now… at least we’ve decided something already!). And have I told you our house is a mess right now?

I know I’m only 22 weeks along and there’s plenty of time. But I’ll be at least 27 weeks (in the best case scenario) before we can move back home, and I’ll still have to clean the whole house, which will be a mess from the remodelling, and my housekeeper will be on vacation until the mid-August so I’ll either have to do it on my own or hire someone to do it. When I was pregnant with R, by 27 weeks the nursery was ready, I had all the baby gear I needed and I even had tons of baby clothes in the drawers. Because I’m anal like that. And that’s how I feel good.

Oh, and lets not forget that my husband is undergoing major surgery sometime in September. I absolutely have to have everything ready by the time he has this surgery because he will be pretty much useless for a month after that, which is about the amount of time we’ll have left before the baby comes…

…ok, I need to breathe again….


Can you guys tell I’m stressed out. No wonder I’m having b/h contractions all the time now, and my face looks like a battle field, and probably my blood pressure is too high. And R’s behaviour has been so irregular lately. She’s clingy, she keeps asking me if she’s Mommy’s baby, she wants to sleep in our bed. And it’s stressing me out even more that I’m not giving her a calm and stable environment for these last few months she has to prepare for the baby.
This baby is going to be born with serious problems, I tell you.

PS: Ultrasound in 4 hours. Will update when I get back.

I love him, what can I say?

My husband did something really stupid this weekend. While he was strapping R into her carseat he left his wallet and his PDA on top of the car. He then forgot them there and we drove away. He didn't even remember them until 4 hours later, when we went to get ice-cream and he asked me for his wallet (that he usually puts in my purse, along with the PDA so I can carry all the weight).
When we got home the wallet was inside our mail box. Apparently, this nice woman found it on the street near my parents' house (which is 5 minutes away, I have no idea how it didn't fall out sooner), she looked in his drivers license, found our address, drove to our house and left it in the mail box. How sweet is that? Even the money was there! I don't even want to imagine how much trouble it would be if he had lost his wallet. It had his drivers license, social security card, identity card, credit cards, health insurance cards,... you get the picture.
The PDA however, since it was on top of the wallet, must have fallen out just outside our garage (assuming that if it had fallen inside our garage, the neighbor who found it would return it...). This was my Christmas gift to him, it was a last model PDA, with cell phone, wireless internet and a bunch of other stuff. And it cost me €669 (about $800). Let me just say he was not happy about loosing it.

I am going to buy him another one today. I'll have to do it while he's at his soccer game because he doesn't want me to buy him a new one. He says he was irresponsible (which he was), and careless (like wise) and he doesn't deserve another one (that's where I don't agree with him). I know it's a lot of money, and I know with the trip to Brazil, the remodelling of the bathrooms and all we're not exactly rich at the moment. But he liked it so much, and he used it all the time, and he was so sad. How could I not give him another one? It broke my heart to see the look on his face when he realized he had really lost it. I didn't even hesitate; I decided immediately that I was getting him a new one. Do you think I'm wrong?

Has the world gone nuts?

I wonder what happened in blogland today? Have I gone famous overnight?

This is what the Country Stats (visitors per country) of my blog look like so far, today.

Rantings of a crazy pregnant woman

Sometimes it feels like time is dragging by, that the weeks just don't pass. Things are slow at work and it makes it even worse. There is only so much to see on the Internet and spending the days sitting at my desk looking at the computer is starting to get boring. I know it's the way things are when you have a project-based job and I know that probably next week, two or three projects will start moving at the same time and I won't have time to breathe. But meanwhile, I have to sit here, when there is so much to do at home.

Then I suddenly look at the calendar and realize that I'm 22 weeks pregnant already and that I'll probably only have about 16 more weeks to go. 16 weeks to feel the baby kicking and to see R looking at my belly and asking if her brother is in there, and if she can touch it. And in the meantime we'll go on vacation to Brazil, and we'll remodel the bathrooms, and Zé Maria will have surgery. And I suddenly feel overwhelmed and I wonder if there will be enough time for everything. It feels like time is flying (I know, I just said it feels like it's dragging, but I've been crazy like that lately).

Do you want to play a game?

Jen tagged me with a meme the other day and I missed it for some reason. But I’ll answer it now.

List your 6 favorite songs and tag 6 others to do the same:

You Make Me Feel Brand New, Simply Red
My Immortal, Evanescence
Sand in My Shoes, Dido
Velha Infância, Tribalistas
From this Moment, Shania Twain
Blessed, Elton John


I Tag:

Lioness, of Which Surprised Her
Martha, of My Life in a Nut Shell
Kristen, of The Fertile Infertile
Amber, of Welcome to My World
Kinneret, of Life’s Bright Caos
Alison, of My Journey

The most boring post ever

I don't really have much to write about but I hate to neglect this blog. So this is probably going to be really boring. Don't worry, I won't blame you if you don't read all of it.

Anyway, today we went to have R's passport done (for the trip to Brazil, in July, remember?). It was surprisingly easy considering how nearly-third-world bureaucratic this country can be. I called before I went there to make sure she didn't have to come with me. They told me she didn't, and that I should bring her identity card, my identity card and an ID-type photo of her. And then she asked me if her father and I were married to which I answered yes. She sounded relieved and I didn't ask but I'm sure it would've complicated things a great deal if the answer had been no.
When I got there, there was quite a big line and a boy was saying he had waited for 2 hours. But then the lady saw me and told me I could go next since I'm pregnant. I was out of there in 15 minutes! I guess it pays to be pregnant, even with this heat! And now we wait and we'll go get it in 8 days (I'll go so no one has to wait in line). No so bad is it?

R's school is divided into two "areas". One for children under 3 and one for children over 3. The older kids are going to the beach with the teachers for 2 weeks, starting last Monday. Since the young kids now have the school all for themselves, the teachers decided to put two huge pools in the garden and told the parents to bring swimsuits and towels. You can't imagine how excited R is to go to school now. This morning I was still half-asleep trying to convince myself to get up and already she was bringing me her bathing suit and her sunscreen, begging me to get up and take her to school already! She didn't even want to have breakfast, which I had to force upon her before we left.

Tomorrow there will be no pool because they have music class on Thursdays. She loves music class but something tells me she is not gonna be happy about it.

PS: Blogger's spell check doesn't recognize the word "blog". How stupid is that?

A question of perspective

We went to the beach for the weekend and we had a great time. R loves to swim and she has become quite a pro, but she gets exhausted by the end of the day! We took naps with her both on Saturday and Sunday, we went to bed early and spent the mornings in the pool and afternoons at the beach. It was a nice, relaxing weekend. Just what I needed.

My BIL who needs the kidney transplant came with us so we had to come back early on Sunday because he had to have dialysis. During the weekend he mentioned the things he is going to be able to do after the transplant, like spend long weekends away, and travel, and drink alcohol, all of which he hasn’t done since he was 18 (he is 30 now). And I realized how minor the discomfort this surgery is going to cause us really is when compared to the benefits it will bring him. This will change his life, it will allow him to do things he hasn’t done for 12 years and that we take for granted. And I have decided that I will no longer focus on the bad (temporary) things that will come from this surgery, and instead I will pray that it works and that all the expectations BIL has will come true.

Belly pictures - 21 weeks

It's been awhile since I last posted belly shots, so here it is. I have gained nearly 9 pounds now!



We're going to the beach for the weekend again. Trying to enjoy our time with R before I get too big!

Preparing for the baby

This morning when I dropped R at school her teacher called me and told me she had been acting strange lately. Apparently she has been cranky and almost aggressive towards the other kids, she pushes them and she doesn’t want to share the toys. The teacher says this is not at all like her. I asked her if she thought this had something to do with the new baby and she said it’s very possible and that it has been happening more since my belly started showing.

I really don’t know what to do about it. I always thought that a sibling was the best thing I could give R, and I still think so. But how do I explain to her that this baby is not a threat to her? How do I prepare her?
In a way I am glad she is having these reactions now, when I still have plenty of time to work with her and prepare her before the baby is actually here. It hurts me to see my baby hurting, to feel that she’s insecure and confused. I wish I could protect her from all these feelings but I know I can’t. This is part of her growing up and I can’t do it for her.

So, those of you with more than one child, how did you prepare your older child/children for the new baby? Any tips?

Choosing happiness

My best friend sent me an email yesterday telling me she is pregnant again. She has a 1 and ½ year old daughter (my god-daughter) and she will have this baby in January. I am thrilled for her, and thrilled that these babies will be so close in age, and thrilled that we get to spend part of our maternity leave together, and that we will have this extra bond between us.
But I must admit (and I hate to admit it) that this was not my first reaction. My first reaction, my first impulse, was anger, resentment. Why? Because she got pregnant exactly when she wanted to, both times, and her children will have the age difference I would’ve wanted my children to have, the age difference my children would’ve had if things hadn’t…. you know.

I expected to feel this way when I was still trying to get pregnant, and I even told myself it was fine. But I wasn’t expecting to feel it now that I’m pregnant and pretty convinced this baby will be born alive. And I’m quite sure it’s not fine. When a good friend told me she was pregnant for the third time back in January (when I was still trying) I allowed myself to cry and I didn’t call her right away. This time I called my friend immediately after I got her email and I forced myself to feel happy for her. And now I do, honestly. We’re going to her house for dinner tonight and I’m bringing a lovely gift for the baby and all my friendship and I’ll show her how happy I am for them.
I think I am on the way to finally bury this episode, this resentment, this bitterness. I’m not there yet, but I will be, hopefully soon.

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My sister started feeling the baby move this weekend. She is almost 20 weeks along (only one week behind me) and she was getting worried that I have been feeling the baby for a few weeks now and she hadn’t felt hers yet. I told her it was normal to feel it earlier the second time around and that I felt R move later than I did this time, but she was still worried. So now we know both babies are well. We have our big ultrasound on the same day, with the same doctor, in 2 weeks! I can’t wait.

We're back

We're back from the long weekend at the beach. The weather wasn't great but we had a good time and we got some much needed rest.

As I have probably mentioned before, we are redoing two of our bathrooms. The men will start working on the 4th of July and we’ll stay at my parents for two weeks. Then we’ll go to Brazil for a week and hopefully the house will be ready and clean when we come back. I had planned on unpacking R’s baby clothes and gear after the ultrasound on the 28th but I guess I’ll wait until the bathrooms are ready and everything is clean. We’ll hire a cleaning company to come in after the work is done so I won’t have to do it myself.
Staying at my parents’ for two weeks is going to be… challenging. They’ll probably disrupt R’s schedules and routines, not to mention her meals (they always give her tons of sweets). We will be crammed in a small room with a sofa bed and we’ll have to take all the clothes we need for the 3 weeks (2 weeks plus vacation in Brazil) because the men will seal off our rooms to prevent the dust from going in. And it’s a 25 minute walk to work everyday, instead of the 10 minute walk from our house. But we’ll live, somehow, and our house is going to look so much better. I’ll be sure to take before and after pictures and post them here.

The Kidney Saga - Part IV

Yesterday my BIL’s doctor called my husband to schedule an appointment for next Thursday with him, my BIL and the surgeon who will be doing the transplant. He did not call my SIL so I guess that means Zé Maria will be the donor for sure. I’m actually glad my SIL won’t be the donor because I have a feeling she wants to get married soon and I know she’ll want to have children soon after that. But she was not happy that the doctor decided things without consulting her (being a doctor herself, I guess it was more professional pride hurt than anything else).
We are going to try to schedule the surgery for early September. It would allow us to have our vacation in August, as planned, and would give Zé Maria enough time to recover a bit before the baby is born. On Thursday we will decide the date and we will ask the doctor how long he will have to stay in the hospital, how long he will have to stay at home, how long until he can play soccer again, etc.
But apart from all these details (and they are only details), the most important thing is that this transplant works, that BIL doesn’t reject the kidney and that he can live a normal life again. And that’s what we are trying to focus on right now. It would terrible if this was all in vain.


We’re leaving for the beach house today, and we’ll be back on Tuesday. We desperately need this time just the 3 of us. Lets just hope the weather helps!

Have some cheese with my whine

The summer is here and I can anticipate it won’t be an easy one. It’s so hot I can hardly sleep at night and the elastic panels on the maternity pants do not help at all. My feet and ankles haven’t started to swell up yet, but if this pregnancy is anything like the first one they will a couple of months from now. I have gained about 7 lbs so far but I will start gaining faster from now on. So if I’m feeling like this now, I can imagine how it will be in August.

God, I sound horrible. I hate to be complaining like this after what I went through to get to where I am right now. Please don’t get me wrong, I am forever thankful for this pregnancy and I would go through 10 times what I’m going through to have this baby. Sometimes I think I have no right to be complaining about my pregnancy, particularly when some of the people who read me are having/have had trouble getting pregnant. So I promise I’ll try to keep the whining to a minimum.

On the bright side, I'm feeling the baby move all the time now! I no longer need to be lying down really still to feel him. I can feel him when I'm sitting at my desk, or when I'm in the car, but particularly after I've had something sweet. He takes after his mom!

Today there’s a party at R’s school, to celebrate the end of this school year (although her school is open 12 months a year). She was so excited about it this morning she ran all the way to school. And I was having a hard time keeping up with her (oops, I almost complained again). She laughs at me and says mommy has a sore back. Funny kid!
Then tomorrow night we leave for the beach again. Friday and Monday are holidays here so we’ll have a long weekend again and we’ll spend it at the beach house.

Busy times

Sometimes I can’t believe I’m having a baby in 4 months. I know it seems like a long time but between now and then we are still going to Brazil and a few weeks later to Azores, we are re-doing two of our bathrooms and my husband is donating a kidney.
So even though 4 months may seem like a long time this is sure going to be one exciting and busy time in our lives. I’m afraid in the middle of all this I won’t be able to take the time to actually enjoy this pregnancy and to enjoy the time I have left to be all alone with R. And I have to prepare her for the baby.

I always say my life will be more calm from now on, I will stop trying to do a thousand things at the same time, I will quit one of the Couples Group (yes, we have two), I will no longer have friends over for dinner every week. But then stuff always shows up and we can’t say no (like the group of couples preparing for marriage that we agreed on orienting next year, because our priest had no one else to do it). With one child we have been able to juggle everything but how will it be with 2?

We really need to take some time for ourselves to rethink our life.

My name is Ana and I'm a Pez addict

R did end up having pink eye and stayed home yesterday. This morning she looked all better and we took her to school. On the way there she kept saying “daddy is mine and mommy’s” and” mommy is mine and daddy’s’”. Funny sense of ownership this girl has. I then told her “mommy is yours, daddy’s and the baby’s” to which she quickly agreed. But a few minutes later she turned to me looking quite worried and asked “But the baby is not coming out (não vai sair cá para fora) today is he?” It seems she is not ready to share mommy and daddy just yet.

I am 19 weeks today and everything is looking good. Well, not everything. The magnesium seems to have helped with the BH contractions but it also has a not so nice side effect. I haven’t had a bowel movement in 3 days, which is making me look more pregnant than I should and not so comfortable at all. I called my gastroenterologist last night (I was worried about the Crohn's) and he said it’s no reason to worry and to try to control it by changing my eating habits. Do you think the 8 rolls of Pez I ate this morning will help?

Life with a two year old

R has pink eye. I had thought her eye looked suspicious yesterday and this morning it was clearly infected. She had this once when she was 6 months old so I went looking for the eye-drops I used back then and I put some on both her eyes, just in case. I really hope she gets better soon because the teacher told me she will not be allowed to come to school tomorrow if it's not better. Oh, the joys of motherhood.

Yesterday I got her progress report from her teacher. They basically have a series of things a child between 24-36 months can usually do or, divided between gross-motor skills, fine-motor skills, cognitive skills, communication and socialbehaviorr. They then tick the "yes", "no" or "learning" box in front of each action. She got "yes" at everything except uses verbs in the present, which she is "learning" (basically, she still says "R wants" instead of "I want" sometimes, except it's a bit more complicated in Portuguese) and plays dressing up as a grown up, in which she got a "no". This one is clearly my fault because I never gave her any of my clothes to play with. Do you think I am irreparably harming my child? No, I didn't think so either.

Yesterday we had dinner at my parents and my mom was giving her chocolate ice-cream for dessert. At one point, my dad thought she had had enough and told my mom not to give her any more. R turns to him looking appalled and says "Oh, for the love of God!!" My dad laughed so hard I though he was going to have a heart attack. And then he let her have all the ice-cream left.