Q&A

Ok, this post is to answer a few of the questions you asked in the comments.
1 – No, it’s not a tradition for SILs to give the brides a dress. It’s just that one month ago I gave my other SIL her wedding dress and am afraid I’ve created a precedent by doing so. But that dress cost me 1,500 euros and I just don’t have that kind of money right now. I did talk to my SIL yesterday and offered to give her the veil, which she told me would cost 80 euros, so I guess she got the message that I won’t be giving her the dress.
2 – Can my other SILs and BILs give her the dress? Well, there are the younger ones who don’t work yet and couldn’t afford to. There’s the nun, and there’s the one who got married last month, and who currently can’t afford to for obvious reasons (honeymoon, new house). And then there are the older ones who could afford to but do not have the best relationship with this SIL right now. Particularly there’s my oldest BIL, who would easily be able to pay it all by himself, but who is currently not speaking to my SIL and is in fact questioning whether he’s even going to the wedding (that will make a whole new post).
3 – The flower girls dresses. I have suggested that we use the same ones and just change the ribbons, make them red or green instead of white. But my SIL says they’re the dresses my other SIL chose, the colour my other SIL chose and thinks she is as entitled as she was to have the dresses she chooses. So you see, she’s not the saint in all this, in fact, she’s quite the opposite sometimes.
4 – Elope. Well, when she first started talking about getting married I suggested that they did a small ceremony, with only family and a few friends and maybe a simple brunch or something. She flat out told me she wanted the white dress, the flower girls, the big party with all her friends, the whole circus. And would not settle for anything less, even if it meant she would have to wait another year to do it. When we were all convinced my in-laws would not pay for any of it (which they had sworn they wouldn’t), she said she would get a bank loan.
(OK, to be totally fair, the wedding will not be as big as my other SIL’s. There will be 100 guests instead of 180)