Too much work and too little sleep = cranky mommy
Things have not been easy around here lately and thus the shortage of posts. My new boss (did I mention my old boss is now working in Poland?) is a lot less centralizing than the old one was, and he delegates a great part of his responsibilities on me. This is a good thing, really, since I’ve been working here for 5 years and was starting to feel underestimated.
However, the down side is that I’ve been positively swamped with work and the increased responsibility is taking a bit of a toll on me. To make things even better, Manel has been cranky lately (teething, I think) and has not been sleeping so well. In fact, I think I’ve slept a total of 10 hours since the weekend, which is so not enough.
Sleep deprivation is absolutely the worse thing ever. But some of it, I must say, is my fault. I’m always the one who wakes up with the kids at night because dh simply does not hear them when he’s asleep. He tells me to wake him up but if I’m awake anyway, there’s no reason to wake him up as well right?
But what’s really stupid is that when I do wake him up, I cannot go back to sleep until he comes to bed because I feel guilty that he’s awake and I feel bad that he’ll be tired. How absolutely stupid is this? He doesn’t feel guilty or bad when I’m up with the kids, and he thinks it’s ridiculous that I feel that way. And he’s right, it is ridiculous. But somehow I can’t help it, and so I find myself waking him up less often and then feeling resentful the next day because I’m not getting any help from him. Poor guy, he can’t win can he?
posted by Ana @ 12:23 PM
3 Comments:
At 4:38 AM,
L said…
It's really tough, I know... in my case, I can't even get help from my hubby because my youngest son wants me, he wants to nurse. I haven't been able to night wean him yet at 22 months because we live in a small house and it would wake up my parents who really need their sleep because they take care of the kids and house every day.
To make matters worse, I'm a night person, and work in the dissertation (or stay online) until very late at night. It's at night that my husband and I get to talk a bit as well so... when my son has bad nights (like last night and many days in the past week) and ...
[OK, a concrete example, in the middle of this comment, my little one got out of bed and came out of the bedroom to get me and I had to go nurse him, though it was only 11:20, and he usually can sleep until 12 or 1 without waking :(]
Of course I don't work, I only write the dissertation from home, so it must be MUCH harder for you!
Nao e' facil ser mae, nao?
At 10:05 AM,
Lioness said…
I still don't know what to say. It doesn't matter how independent or emancipated (ha!) we are, we are still very much our culture's daughters and men need their rest and to be taken care of.
E. has recently embaked upon a job that requires fancy dressing (as opposed to, say, dressing in almost rags to stand for 8h at a construction site to make sure no precious artifact is mauled by bulldozers - *yawn*) and as a result we have sprouted shirts. My mother, bless her, asked me how I was going to handle it. I told her I had no idea, I don't own clothes that need ironing nor do I even know how to iron (I've developped a method over the years since living on my own, let me know if you need tips, it all looks very tidy and wrinkle-free).
I mean, I am very happy to help him find a solution (e.g. ironing service, buy iron+board - don't own one even, get housekeeper to do it) - but NOT bcs it is my job somehow, simply bcs I love him. To me the difference is crucial. Eh.
At 10:06 AM,
Lioness said…
Oh right, forgot to add THE POINT, the point is I probably would have felt guilty a while ago. The point is, actually, i do feel a bit guilty. I don't let he guilt win now, is what's changed.
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