What would you do?

I have a good friend who is not happy and I wish I could do something for her but I’m not sure I should. Actually, I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t but I can’t help thinking about her all the time so I thought I would share it with you.

So here is some background.

She is 27 and married to this guy, who is also our very good friend, for 3 years now (in fact, 3 years tomorrow). They have a one year old boy. They live in a beautiful farmhouse, where they have animals and a big garden and everything she always wanted. She is a stay at home mom and he is farmer, he has several properties throughout the country and he basically runs them and makes tons of money (I mean TONS of money).

So where’s her problem you ask? The problem is he is an old fashion man. By that I mean she has no access to a bank account, he gives her an envelope with cash every month to run the house and for pocket money. She doesn’t have a computer, much less internet access, and their house is miles away from anywhere. Which means she is lonely, she has no contact with the outside world whatsoever, she complains she doesn’t have enough money to drive to Lisbon (20 minutes away) to meet her friends, to go shopping, to do anything. She spends her entire life at home, taking care of the baby and cleaning (she has no help whatsoever, even with that huge house). He expects her to have lunch and dinner on the table for him everyday and he never gives her anything and never takes her anywhere.
What makes me even more angry is that he has a last-generation computer and wide band internet access at his office (next door to their house, but she is not allowed to use it), he travels all the time to go hunting with his friends (and takes the dogs on the plane, but not her), he is rich for crying out loud! Oh and, he says he doesn’t want any more children, even though she would love to have at least one more.

I don’t think she complains to him, but she complains to us, her friends. She complains that she is lonely, that she would love to have internet access (is that so much to ask) so she could have an email, or IM her friends. She complains that she has never left the country (most of our friends travel a lot), that she never does anything, that she sometimes doesn’t even have enough money to buy a pair of shoes (the other day, her mother had to give her a pair she wanted). She doesn’t leave the house, she is practically his maid. And he never takes care of the kid so she can have some time for herself.

I usually tease him about it, I say he’s cheap and that he should give her a computer, that he doesn’t know how to take care of his own son and stuff like that. I do it in a joking tone but I can’t help getting mad at him sometimes. But he is our friend too, and I’m sure that if I were to confront him she would take his side and I would come out of it as the bitch who is interfering in other peoples lives. My husband and my friends tell to let it go and they’re probably right.

So, what would you do? Do you think I have the right to confront him or should I just keep my mouth shut?