Gender confusion
aaa
Yesterday I had a meeting with R’s teacher to discuss her evolution. We spoke about her language skills, her gross and fine motor skills, her social behavior. You get the picture.
Apparently my daughter is shy. Can you believe that?! At home she doesn’t shut up for a minute but in school she is always quiet and looks to the floor when spoken to. The teacher says she can speak fine, as much as the other kids, even though she was born in December and is one of the youngest in her class. She speaks to herself when playing alone, and creates stories, and sings, and she can say what she wants. She just doesn’t initiate conversation with the other kids often. I still doubt she was talking about my kid though.
She was impressed that she has been completely potty trained since September, both during the day, nap time and at night. Some kids in her class still wear diapers at nap time and almost all of them still wear them at night.
She then commented that R doesn’t know her own gender yet. I came home and decided to see for myself.
Me: R, are you a girl?
R: No
Me: Are you a boy?
R: No
R I’m a baby.
Ok, so we may have a little work to do here. I’m not sure how to explain the difference though. I’m just not ready for the penis and vagina conversation. And the long hair vs short hair won’t work when both her parents have short hair. I’m sure she would go to school and tell the teacher she has two daddies. I guess she won’t know her gender for a while longer.
Yesterday I had a meeting with R’s teacher to discuss her evolution. We spoke about her language skills, her gross and fine motor skills, her social behavior. You get the picture.
Apparently my daughter is shy. Can you believe that?! At home she doesn’t shut up for a minute but in school she is always quiet and looks to the floor when spoken to. The teacher says she can speak fine, as much as the other kids, even though she was born in December and is one of the youngest in her class. She speaks to herself when playing alone, and creates stories, and sings, and she can say what she wants. She just doesn’t initiate conversation with the other kids often. I still doubt she was talking about my kid though.
She was impressed that she has been completely potty trained since September, both during the day, nap time and at night. Some kids in her class still wear diapers at nap time and almost all of them still wear them at night.
She then commented that R doesn’t know her own gender yet. I came home and decided to see for myself.
Me: R, are you a girl?
R: No
Me: Are you a boy?
R: No
R I’m a baby.
Ok, so we may have a little work to do here. I’m not sure how to explain the difference though. I’m just not ready for the penis and vagina conversation. And the long hair vs short hair won’t work when both her parents have short hair. I’m sure she would go to school and tell the teacher she has two daddies. I guess she won’t know her gender for a while longer.
posted by Ana @ 1:14 PM
1 Comments:
At 12:41 PM,
Anonymous said…
I love your site, and I also am interested in the research about gender. It suggests that the less rigid a gender role a child is socialized to the better... for attitude, flexibility, self-esteem and a number of other things. I don't think it is an important lesson to teach. (i.e. knowing she's a girl might limit what she thinks is appropriate behavior which in often includes healthy and important skills needed for actualization)
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