Dilemma
Oh well, I guess I can’t keep my promises after all. About once a week I think to myself it’s been too long since I last posted something and I should really post an update, at least to let people know I’m still here, alive and well. But then life gets in the way and I never really do get around to post. I often start the posts but… I’m not even sure if this one will get posted.
Things are pretty much the same since the last time I posted. Except I haven’t just arrived from Italy so I am much more tired than I was then. Work is the usual stress and I’ve given up on telling ZM things will get better after this week’s deadline. They just don’t. Ever.
I asked my housekeeper/nanny to work an extra hour in the evening (she used to leave at 7 pm) and she agreed to give me half an hour and get started on the kid’s dinner. That makes it a little easier for me but it also makes me feel that much guiltier about the time I don’t spend with the kids. It’s a vicious circle.
Anyway...
We are now in the process of choosing which school R will attend when she starts first grade, which is next year (I can’t believe she will actually start first grade in September so I keep repeating it to myself over and over). This is not an easy decision, but we have managed to bring the options down to two schools.
There is the one we had always wanted, because it is really close to our house (walking distance) and would allow our nanny to pick her up from school on the way to M’s preschool, which obviously means M would get to stay in the same preschool he’s in this year. It is a catholic school (mandatory for us) but not as demanding about it as the other one. It’s also a very.big.school. I mean over 2000 students. It kinda scares me. This one would cost us about 3000 Euros per year and it’s really really hard to get an opening. We have an interview with the headmaster February 1st. If we screw it up, there’s no chance she’ll get in. If we don’t, the chances are slim.
Then there is the school I went to when I was a kid. This is a very small school (400 students), very catholic, very conservative, very cosy. It is far from our house (10 minute drive but still, it means using the car every day, which we don’t do now) and would mean that M would have to go there to. This is good because they would be together, bad because of the price (5000 Euros per year, per kid). I was there today and I still knew everyone, and it felt like home and they treated me like family. They said they were full but they would exceptionally open a spot for R (for M there was no problem) because she’s my daughter. And so I enrolled them (paid 560 Euros) just to be safe in case R doesn’t get in the other one.
So, to make a long story short, we can either pay 3000 Euros for a school close to home, but which is bigger and not as demanding (particularly religion wise, which is important to us), or pay 5000 Euros (x 2 starting now instead of in 3 years) for a school whose programme and philosophy we completely identify with, but which is far from home.
Do you have an opinion?
posted by Ana @ 3:51 PM
4 Comments:
At 7:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
Hands down, I would go with the smaller school that is more demanding but further from home. I think it sounds like a school that will have better outcomes for your children in every possible way (academic, inter-personal, social, religious).
Funny that you posted an update today because I just emailed you about an hour ago to see how you were then thought to myself that I should check your blog, and Voila!
Let us know what you decide!
-Michelle
At 6:14 PM,
Lioness said…
First of all, R. CANNOT be starting first grade in September, that's demented! She's... 2! 2, 2, 2! Oh the horror, how can she turn 6 soon??
Re schools, I think you need to decide what is more important for you, the closer to home bit or the more identification bit and also figure out what the added expense would mean it terms of your life. I think that regardless of what you choose she will far well. A lot of a child's education happens at home and you have absolute control over that. If you choose the closer school it won't mean she'll be less of a Catholic because you and ZM and her spectacularly extended family will all be present to ensure she gets the religious education you want for her. I mean, think abt it, unless he goes through some sort of extrme rebellion she has little choice but to become an absolutely brilliant Catholic, look how many examples she has. Also, choosing this school doesn't mean you won't be able to change your mind about it later if you decide after a few months that it's not working out, children are very adaptable and all other things in her life being stable it wouldn't be a trauma.
The other school is trickier in terms of life changes bcs you wouldn't be able to rely on the nanny anymore and that means a lot of schedule coordinating and fretting. Not sure how much the money would matter to you but what I'm thinking is, you want to have more children still which would further increase the costs but only you can judge how much it would chang your life and what impact it would have, if any, on your life quality.
Rgardless of what you choose, R. and M.'s experiences will be their own, regardless of whether they attend your school or not. And having ben born to you and your family they're bound to be well-grounded children and able to make the most of - well, anything really.
Now, the nanny and work overload. Th thing that resonates the most is, you are not increasing her hours so you can work more, you have increased them because you are indeed forced to work more. So - and I know this doesn't aleviate the guilt but I'm objective so I thought you might appreciate that - you are actually ensuring a less stressed mummy bcs at least now you know that things will be started on time, and less stressed mummies mean happier children. You cannot afford not to work and you actually enjoy it (and kudos), and your children know they are loved and wanted and look, you will always feel guilty that you don't spend enough time with them but THAT is not what they will remember - and that is what you should remind yourself of on a regular basis. You may not be fine but THEY are, and that's how it should be.
At 7:55 PM,
Anonymous said…
I must agree with the Lioness that whatever school you pick it will be your influence that is most effective. From this far away I would suggest the closer school. Money is a big thing, but more is the travel coordination. So much better for the nanny to be able to walk there. Sometimes a bigger school gives more choices and opportunities, sometimes kids get lost. It will take more at home, but probably the bigger one just because it is close (as long as the education level is ok)
At 3:30 AM,
L said…
Hmmm, I'm really late here, almost 10 days, but why don't you let the big school decide for you? I mean, if she gets in, she's in, what about that? And if she doesn't then you send her to the other school, what about that?
Maybe you have already made a decision, but I thought I'd add my 2 cents ;)
Good to hear from you, regardless of how long it's been since your previous post.
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