Empty

I wish I could write something really funny and witty. I have tried. I started writing this countless times but it never comes out the way I want it to. I'm feeling... how can I describe it? Empty I guess.
I'm empty.

My husband and I have made plans for our life, like every couple does. We are not career-driven people, we don't have expensive habits (except travelling), we don't have ambicious goals.
When we started making more money we didn't start going out for dinner more often, we didn't buy a fancy car, we didn't buy expensive clothes. We bought a 4 bed-room house and a van.
We will have to redefine our life, our goals, our dreams, if we cannot have more children. We have prepared ourselves to have a big family, we have built our lives around that concept and now I just don't know how we will ever be able to change everything.

Of course there is a big probability that it won't come to that. I'm 25 and healthy, as far as we know. I will probably be able to have more children and one day I will look back and wonder why I ever wrote this. But right now I can't help feeling like I will never make it.
It's been well over a year since we started trying for a second child and so far we are left with 2 miscarriages and many scars which I'm afraid will never heal. I feel like such a failure. Some of my friends who got married around the same time we did now have 2 and some even 3 children. And I feel less of a woman next to them.