Lisbon Mama

It's over, almost!

2008-04-28T11:56:00.001+01:00

I must admit I knew the private practice would be faster, but I never thought it would be this fast. We went to the appointment with the surgeon last Wednesday, as planned. He examined the lump, took my word for it when I described what we saw in the ultrasound (I lost the ultrasound report, shame on me), talked for about 10 minutes about all the different things he thought could’ve caused the lump and finally told us he agreed with the ER doctor and she should have it removed. I asked when, he said tomorrow at 10 am.

So R had her surgery last Thursday. We got to the hospital at 9 am and an hour later I was with her in the OR as they put her to sleep (that was the worst part of this whole thing, she struggled like crazy, it took an eternity for the drug to work, she started to roll her eyes and I had to use all my strength to restrain her. It was a nightmare). An hour later it was all over and I was by her side again when she woke up. By 3.00 pm we were home having pizza.

The lump itself… well, it was dying (necrosis) and it had blood and pus (disgusting, I know). It didn’t look threatening but we’ll know for sure tomorrow or the day after that. Can you tell how relieved I am?

Update

2008-04-18T15:52:00.000+01:00

I’m sorry for the lack of updates. It has been a complicated couple of weeks.

After we went to the ER and they decided she would have to have surgery to remove the lump, we scheduled an appointment for the 17th (yesterday) and they told us the surgery would be scheduled for shortly after that. I called my ped and asked her if she thought we should have the surgery in a private hospital, which would probably be much sooner than through the public hospital, and she said no. She said she trusts the public hospital and the doctors working there much more than those “hotels” (her words obviously).

Well, we patiently waited for the appointment and I went there with her yesterday. After waiting for 4 hours in what closely resembled a refugee camp, the doctor finally saw us, only to ask me to sign a consent form and tell me that they will call me with a surgery date in the next 2 to 3 weeks. I almost died. The minute I left that place I called the “hotel” and scheduled an appointment with a pediatric surgeon for next Wednesday. We have decided that whichever hospital can schedule the surgery sooner gets the job. My money is on the private.

Worrying

2008-04-08T11:28:00.000+01:00

Wow, it’s been a month already! We went on our ski trip a few days after I wrote that last post and when I came back things had kinda accumulated at work and it has taken me a while to get everything back on track.
Anyway, the ski trip was amazing, R absolutely loved it and she is a pro at skiing. We had a great time and really rested and I really took my mind off work. The only down side was how much we missed M, and we decided this was the last trip we took without him. And he really missed R too, poor guy.

Last Saturday, we found a lump in R’s neck and yesterday we decided to take her to the ped to have a look at it. It is about the size of a nut and seems the have fluid inside. The ped sent us to the hospital where she had an ultrasound and did some blood work and they finally decided they have no idea what it is. So they want to have it removed and analysed. And so we’re in for surgery in a few days. I’ll keep you updated and if you can, say a small prayer for us.

One decision down, one to go

2008-03-04T09:40:00.001Z

I didn’t mean to keep you waiting this long for an answer. We eventually decided on the Smaller School and ZM called the Big School and told them we wouldn’t be filling her position.
It wasn’t an easy decision, especially because the Big School had been in our plans for such a long time, but in the end I think we are both more comfortable with the Smaller School. I just never imagined we would be in the situation where we could actually choose. It’s hard enough to be accepted in either of these schools, let alone in both.

Now we have another decision to make, which is about transportation. As you remember, Big School was at walking distance from our house, so we never really gave this issue much thought. Now we have to.
In the morning either ZM or I will drop the kids off at school, so no problem there. But in the afternoon none of us will be able to pick them up. We basically have two alternatives: either our nanny picks them up or we can hire a child-transportation service, which is really expensive. So we have decided to explore the idea of the nanny picking them up. But this leaves us with another problem: How?

Our nanny doesn’t drive, so there are two ways she can pick up the kids. She will take the bus to the school (practically door to door bus, and about 15 minute ride) and then they will either take the bus back or take a cab. ZM is all in favour of them taking the bus home, and maybe taking a cab if it’s raining (which happens about twice a year) but I’m not so sure about it. What do you think?

More on the school dilemma

2008-02-26T10:08:00.001Z

So we had the interview at the Bigger School 2 weeks ago. We were there for about 3.5 minutes. I must admit I was expecting more, both in terms of time and in terms of substance. I thought we were going to hear about the school’s project, the facilities, the programme. But I guess they don’t need to “sell” the school, since they have way more candidates than openings. But still, its was rather… disappointing.

Yesterday we got a call saying that R was accepted. We had pretty much decided that she would go to the Smaller School, regardless of whether she got accepted at the Big School or not, but I confess I was/am shaken. I mean, this school has been our plan since the beginning. We have always said that she would attend this school (mainly because it’s close to our house, which was the #1 criterion). If we had known she would get accepted for sure we wouldn’t even have enrolled her in the Smaller School.

But, we did go to the Smaller School, and we loved it. I remembered the good times I had there and ZM felt right at home, if you know what I mean. At first we enrolled her just to secure an alternative should she not get accepted at the
Bigger School, but then we started warming up to the idea of having her in a smaller, cosier school. And now we find out she got accepted at what had been our first choice…

We have until tomorrow to enrol her in the Bigger School or someone else takes her place.

Withdrawal

2008-02-22T19:54:00.002Z

Things are kinda slow at work. This should be good news, taking into consideration how swamped I have been for the past year or so. And sometimes, during those busiest days, I actually longed for a day when I had nothing to do.

But it was just because I didn’t remember what it was like anymore. I absolutely hate not having anything to do. I would trade a day like this for one of those when I don’t even have time to eat, anytime!

Anyway, it’s that time of year again (Lent, I mean), and I have been chocolate-less for 17 days. I swear I am going through some kind of withdrawal here. I’ve had a headache for 4 days straight now, the kind I usually get when I don’t drink coffee before 9 am. I’m seriously convinced it’s the lack of chocolate. Which means it will last for another 30 days. If I don’t get busy soon, this is going to be a bad month. And I hate it that I won’t get to drink a nice cup of hot chocolate at the end of an exhausting day spent skiing.

Oh well I shouldn’t complain right? It kinda loses it’s meaning if I complain. So I’m done complaining.

LIfe is good

2008-02-20T14:18:00.001Z

So I did start covering Victor’s cage with a dark cloth and it works great. He doesn’t make any noise until we take the cloth out. Thank you!
Now I only have to convince the kids not to uncover the bird until mom gets up. They have learned how to get up from bed, put on their robes and slippers, make their own breakfast (actually, R makes both their breakfasts) and turn on the TV. Now they only have to understand that the bird needs to remain covered until I wake up.

Although my desire to have another baby is clearly increasing (particularly after my sister asking me to babysit my 2 month old niece), this phase we are currently going through is also a great one and I intend to make the best of it while I can.
Both kids are pretty independent now (though M is still in diapers, which is distressing since R was potty trained by 20 months), they eat whatever we eat and at fairly flexible hours, they entertain themselves, they sleep well and they even let me sleep in on weekends. I am starting to take these things for granted, and that’s also why I know it’s time to have another baby, which will most likely be the last. I want to get used to these small luxuries when I know that they will last. If I get too used to them now it will make it that much harder to go back to the small baby routine. But meanwhile, I’ll enjoy it as much as I can.

And to fully enjoy this phase, we are going on a sky trip again this year, in March, and once again we are taking R with us. This time we’re going with two couples friends of ours who are also taking their kids so it should be even more fun than last year. I can’t wait.

Pictures

2008-02-13T16:25:00.002Z

ZM didn't take as many pictures as I thought he did and they didn't come out as good as I expected so we'll have to wait for the pictures taken by the photographer. Meanwhile, here is one of the kids during Carnaval, which is when children here get to wear costumes (we don't do Haloween... yet)

The Wedding - Season 3, Episode II

2008-02-11T14:39:00.000Z

I realize now how small this “wedding season” was, with only two episodes. This is due as much to the lack of drama this third season brought as it is to the lack of time I’ve had to write about it.

Everything went pretty much according to plan. On Saturday I woke up at 7.30 am and called the bride to wake her up and tell her I would pick her up in half an hour to take her to the salon. Of all the people who could’ve taken this task apparently I, the mother of two young children who also needed to be woken up, dressed and fed before the event, was the most appropriate one.

At 8.30 we were at the salon getting our hair, nails and makeup done. By 11.30 we were at my in-laws, where my husband had already arrived with the kids and our outfits. The whole family was there to take pictures and accompany the bride in her last hours as a single girl.
This included Oldest BIL’s girlfriend, which was awkward, as expected. But all things considered, I think everyone behaved exceptionally well towards her and I think she felt as welcome as she would possibly feel under the circumstances.

The ceremony was at 2 pm. R was a flower girl and M was the ring bearer. They looked cute and very concentrated in their respective roles. (Will post pictures as soon as I have time to download them). The groom was nervous, the bride was radiant, there were tears and everyone was happy.

I'm about to kill my pet

2008-02-06T11:30:00.000Z

R, has any other 5 year old child, I imagine, has been insistently asking for a puppy for the past… I don’t know, 3 years or so. Although I love dogs and have nearly brought home a 1 month old golden retriever a friend of mine offered last week, I do not think we can have a dog in a city apartment which is empty all day. It just wouldn’t work.

My parents, always the best grandparents in the world, have decided that the kids need a pet and if we won’t give them a puppy then they will take the matter into their own hands. So the kids got a canary for Christmas. A bright orange canary. And R named him Victor (no idea why, it’s such an uncommon name here). I actually like the bird, it’s beautiful and I like all animals, really.

But (you knew there would be a but right?), I think I may be starting to regret having accepted the gift. It started with M telling every one of our friends and family members he has a new “caraio” (you non-portuguese speaking people will not understand the seriousness of this, but it sounds just like a swear word for penis, which is really, really embarrassing). When he said that to my MIL I nearly died.
Then I realized I would be the one cleaning the cage (which I absolutely have to do every couple of days because I just can’t let the poor bird live in a dirty cage), but it’s really not that much trouble, to be honest.
The worse part is when the damn bird decides to start “singing” with the first light of dawn. This morning it was at 7.30 am. And I still had half an hour to sleep. It doesn’t seem to bother anyone else but it just kills me because I'm a light sleeper and no matter hown many doors I close I just can't stop hearing it. Especially on weekends. And what will happen when the days start getting longer and the sun rises at 6 am? This morning I could’ve have killed him, seriously.
What do I do? How do I shut the damn thing up? Help!

The Wedding - Season 3, Episode I

2008-02-04T12:40:00.000Z

First of all, about the school dilemma, I think we have decided on the smaller school. We still have the interview with the bigger school scheduled for next Friday but we’re pretty much set on the other one. It is a bit further from home and more expensive but it makes me feel more… reassured, if you know what I mean.

Next Saturday is my younger SIL’s wedding. This time there has been no major drama around the wedding, except for the fact that she got engaged only 3 months ago so everything had to be arranged in a bit of a hurry. But it is the third wedding in 2 years so we’ve become quite the pros at it. I paid for yet another wedding dress which is also becoming a tradition. Thankfully there is only one single SIL left (excluding the nun, for obvious reasons).

But surely you noticed I said no “major” drama. There always has to be some drama in this family. This time it involves my older BIL.
I’m not sure if I ever told you about it, but my older BIL (the one who got the kidney transplant 2 years ago. yes, it’s been 2 years already!) has a girlfriend. This should be good news, since it’s his first girlfriend and he seems to be serious about it. But it’s not. To make a long story short, she is an illegal immigrant who used to be my MIL’s housekeeper and the family is just not happy about it. Not. Happy. At. All.
And why, I hear you asking, is the family not happy about this true Cinderella fairy tale? I know it sounds terribly prejudiced, but she just has absolutely nothing to do with him, in any and every way you can possibly look at it. And one really couldn’t expect my in-laws to be thrilled about their son dating the housekeeper, the non-catholic housekeeper to make things even better.

Anyway, this relationship has been going on for quite awhile now and BIL asked that she be invited to the wedding. He says its time for her to meet the family (of course, she has met the family, when she was the housekeeper) and to start coming to family events. And my MIL did invite her, even though you can see it makes her miserable. ZM doesn’t even like to talk about it and my FIL doesn’t acknowledge the fact that she even exists. This should be fun!

Dilemma

2008-01-22T15:51:00.001Z

Oh well, I guess I can’t keep my promises after all. About once a week I think to myself it’s been too long since I last posted something and I should really post an update, at least to let people know I’m still here, alive and well. But then life gets in the way and I never really do get around to post. I often start the posts but… I’m not even sure if this one will get posted.

Things are pretty much the same since the last time I posted. Except I haven’t just arrived from Italy so I am much more tired than I was then. Work is the usual stress and I’ve given up on telling ZM things will get better after this week’s deadline. They just don’t. Ever.
I asked my housekeeper/nanny to work an extra hour in the evening (she used to leave at 7 pm) and she agreed to give me half an hour and get started on the kid’s dinner. That makes it a little easier for me but it also makes me feel that much guiltier about the time I don’t spend with the kids. It’s a vicious circle.

Anyway...
We are now in the process of choosing which school R will attend when she starts first grade, which is next year (I can’t believe she will actually start first grade in September so I keep repeating it to myself over and over). This is not an easy decision, but we have managed to bring the options down to two schools.

There is the one we had always wanted, because it is really close to our house (walking distance) and would allow our nanny to pick her up from school on the way to M’s preschool, which obviously means M would get to stay in the same preschool he’s in this year. It is a catholic school (mandatory for us) but not as demanding about it as the other one. It’s also a very.big.school. I mean over 2000 students. It kinda scares me. This one would cost us about 3000 Euros per year and it’s really really hard to get an opening. We have an interview with the headmaster February 1st. If we screw it up, there’s no chance she’ll get in. If we don’t, the chances are slim.

Then there is the school I went to when I was a kid. This is a very small school (400 students), very catholic, very conservative, very cosy. It is far from our house (10 minute drive but still, it means using the car every day, which we don’t do now) and would mean that M would have to go there to. This is good because they would be together, bad because of the price (5000 Euros per year, per kid). I was there today and I still knew everyone, and it felt like home and they treated me like family. They said they were full but they would exceptionally open a spot for R (for M there was no problem) because she’s my daughter. And so I enrolled them (paid 560 Euros) just to be safe in case R doesn’t get in the other one.

So, to make a long story short, we can either pay 3000 Euros for a school close to home, but which is bigger and not as demanding (particularly religion wise, which is important to us), or pay 5000 Euros (x 2 starting now instead of in 3 years) for a school whose programme and philosophy we completely identify with, but which is far from home.

Do you have an opinion?

Oops, it's been a month!

2007-11-28T08:39:00.000Z

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. It's amazing how time flies isn't it?

We were in Italy in the beginning of the month, just me and ZM for 9 whole days. We flew to Milan and spent 2 days there, and basicaly shopped.
Then we went to Florence by train (the train ride was beautiful, it even snowed, there are no words to describe it) and stayed there for 3 days. We rented a car and went to the nearby village of Lucca and to Pisa (the one with the tower).
Then we took another train to Venice and stayed there for 3 more days.
We had a great time, we really needed to spend some time just the two of us, which hadn't happened since our trip to Barcelona almost a year and a half ago. We rested alot, we got to see some of the most beautiful sights we have ever seen and we came back as good as new.

Of course, things were hectic when I got back to work. My boss was going nuts and you could've sworn I had been away for a whole month if you heard him talking! It's been so bad I've been back for almost 2 weeks now and I haven't had time to download the pictures we took. But will try to do it this weekend and post them.

Last weekend we had my SIL's engagement party and my MIL's birthday party and a friend of mines 30th birthday party. That combined with the load of work I have come back to explains my absence from this blog (or so I hope). Oh, and the kids forced me to put up our Christmas tree on Sunday! I think I need a vacation!

Big changes

2007-10-29T16:57:00.000Z

As you might remember, I work in Mergers and Acquisitions in an investment bank. Our M&A department has 6 teams (one for each sector) and my team, Food & Beverages, is composed of 4 people – my boss (FS), a girl who’s a bit more senior than me (MJ), me and an analyst (IM).
Basically when a project comes in it is attributed either to me or to MJ and then we both work on it with FS and IM does the “dirty work” (powerpoint, etc). The difference between me and MJ (other than the pay check, of course) is that she is more independent than me, so when a project is attributed to her FS is less involved than when it’s attributed to me.
Well, today I am told that MJ is leaving and that a new, younger analyst will be recruited. So the idea is that I take MJ’s place, in that I have to become more independent and take my projects practically on my own, IM will slowly take my place, by having projects of her own she will take with FS, with more involvement from his part, and the new analyst will do the “dirty work”.
This is good news, of course. I got the promotion I was expecting last June and they seem to be happy with my performance. I thought their reaction to MJ leaving would be hiring a new senior to take her place but no one seemed to even hesitate that I could do it. And I can see a new promotion in the near future. That’s good.
The only down side is that I had planned on going of birth control next month, and now I will have to reconsider, and postpone that decision for awhile. I know there is never a good moment work wise but there are definitely terrible moments, and this is one. I’m just hoping a couple of months will be enough to get everything on track.

Summer Vacation

2007-10-24T12:37:00.000+01:00

Here are some pictures from this summer. I said yesterday I didn’t even remember having had a summer vacation, but I do have pictures that prove I did.
We spent a week in Algarve with my parents and my sister, her husband and her son (who, if you remember, is a week younger than Manel). We rented a great little house, with a pool and horses, close to the beach. I eventually had to drive to Lisbon for a work meeting right in the middle of the week, which stress me out a little and stress my dad out completely. You would’ve thought the whole vacation was absolutely ruined because I had to spend one morning away.
Anyway, it was a great week and the kids loved the house. And it was the first time in 3 years we had a vacation with the whole family, which was also great.
Then we spent a week at my in-laws beach house, which was the usual chaos, with 20 people in the same house, lining up to use the bathroom, cooking for a battalion, etc. I get more used to it with every year that passes and I’ve actually come to enjoy it quite a lot. I wouldn’t do it for more than a week at a time but it’s actually fun and the kids have a blast.
So that was my vacation. In November ZM and I will be going to Italy alone for 9 days and that’s when I’ll really get some rest.

I'm back!

2007-10-23T14:23:00.001+01:00

I can’t believe it’s been 7 months since I last posted! I can’t even believe it’s been 7 months since we went skiing! I sometimes feel my life is escaping me, seriously.

Work has been crazy these past few months, and I don’t even remember having had a decent vacation this summer. At work I never have time to write a coherent sentence to post here and lately I don’t even have time to put up a couple of pictures now and then. It seems to have calmed down a bit now, though, so I’ll give this blog another try. That is, if anyone still reads it.

I’ll start with a quick update, and we’ll see how things go from there.

Kids: Rosarinho is turning 5 in December and she’s become a young lady. She’s not a baby anymore and she really enjoys her role as a big sister. Manel turned 2 last week and he’s the most cheerful and easy going child you could ever imagine. They really are what keeps me going everyday!

ZM: I have the best husband in the world. We had our 6th anniversary earlier this month and we’ll be celebrating with an 8 day trip to Italy I November. I can’t wait!

Me: I had a Chron’s Disease crisis last April and lost 15 lbs. My weight has been stable in 101 lbs since then, but the doctor seems to think it’s not enough and that I should try to gain at least 4 lbs. The crazy work isn’t helping in that department and I forget to eat all the time. ZM thinks I look great, of course.

That’s about it for now. Tomorrow I’ll post pictures of the summer vacation (we did have a vacation, it was just so short and interrupted with work related issues I don’t even remember it anymore).

Pictures

2007-03-12T14:35:00.000Z

It was great. We had a great time, R had a great time and I just can't believe how fast it went.

Back to work now.

A much needed vacation

2007-03-01T16:15:00.000Z

Saturday we are going on vacation. We’re taking R and we’re going skiing for a whole week in Spain (Sierra Nevada).
This is the longest I have ever gone without taking a vacation and I’m truly exhausted. It’s been a year since I came back from maternity leave and this has been, without a question, the busiest year of my life, work wise.

This is also the first vacation we’re taking alone with R. We’re leaving M with my parents since he can’t ski yet. She is so excited about it she has been waking up an hour earlier than usual and the first things she asks is how many days until we go skiing. Yesterday she packed a few of her toys, put the bag by the door and told ZM he could start loading the car. I’m pretty sure she won’t even sleep on Friday.

So next week there’ll be no posting, but to make up for it I promise to post tons of pictures when we come back.

Oh and I have bad news. They’re moving my desk CLOSER to my boss’ desk, to make room for a new girl. So if that was a problem before it’ll be even worse now. Ugh!

R funny

2007-02-22T10:50:00.000Z

The other day we’re driving back from my in-laws and R is bragging about how grown-up she is now.

“I’m 4 now, and next I‘ll be 5, and then 6, then 7, then 8, then 9…I’m almost getting there!”

Getting where? We asked her.

“To the letters”

Apparently, she seems to have picked up the idea that after the numbers come the letters. Crazy hun?

Oh and good news. I closed a deal I’ve been working on for the past 9 months. No matter how chaotic it gets sometimes, I really love this job.

Back from Paris

2007-02-12T17:17:00.000Z

Paris was nice. Paris is always nice. And it snowed. The company was also nice, there were 5 of us from my office, and we got to know each other better and it turns out I’ve been working with some really nice people I had never even bothered to get to know.
The course ended at 5 pm each afternoon so there was plenty of time to go for a walk, have a hot chocolate and a croissant, and shop, of course. And we had dinner at some really nice and fancy restaurants. Like this one www.kong.fr and this one www.cabaret.fr
I came back home with the flu, to find my kids also with the flu. So we spent a nice calm weekend at home, watching tv and drinking tea, and everyone is on their way to a full recovery now.

Work, work, work ... and story telling

2007-01-31T14:04:00.000Z

I’m swamped again. I have barely seen Manel this week and it won’t get any better soon. ZM has been my life saver, as usual, and has been taking care of the kids and the house. No wonder my son’s first word was Pai (dad) and now that he says about 10 or 12 words, Mãe (mom), is still not one of them. He loves me to death though, so all is well.

I did go to R’s school yesterday, in the middle of the day, to read the kids a story. They have been inviting the parents to come read a story and R has been insisting that I go for a while, so I went. Her school is a 10 minute walk from my office, and with the 20 minutes it took me to read them the story I was back at the office less than an hour after I left. And it’s amazing how much something so small meant to her. She talked about it all evening and this morning.

I’m going to Paris on Sunday, to take a course, and I’ll be back on Wednesday. The course is from 9 am to 5 pm Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, which should give me some time to go shopping and to just veg out in my hotel room. I’ll write again when I’m back.

Babies and Ski trips

2007-01-23T09:37:00.000Z

I’m not sure if I had told you guys, but my sister in law, the one who got married last June, is pregnant. She’s due in July, and found out last week that she’s having a boy, who will be named José Maria, after my husband.
I love children, and I love it that my kids will have cousins around their age and I’m hoping that my own sister will get pregnant again soon, too. And having babies around will temporarily numb my own desire for another child, which I clearly and rationally can not indulge in right now.

I got a bonus last week. 15,000 euros. I guess the ski trip is paid for!

The start of a new cycle

2007-01-18T12:07:00.000Z

A couple of days ago I posted an update on myself on a message board some friends and I have. I thought I would post it here so, here it goes:

Work
Things at work changed quite a bit since I came back from maternity leave last February. My old boss went to Poland and I have a new one. This boss is so much better in almost every way, and I feel so much more motivated working with him. The only problem is he likes team work and he likes to delegate, so while on one hand I have much more responsibility and direct contact with the clients (and am loving it!!), on the other I am always swamped and am having a bit of a hard time juggling everything.This is the main reason why I haven’t been posting here nearly as often as I used to. The other reason is they moved my desk and my computer screen is now directly facing my boss. Also, my boss’ boss (the one who told me she wouldn’t promote me because it would be a dangerous precedent to promote a mom, blah, blah, blah) had a baby in November (ironic hun?) and she left most of her work (which is mostly administrative) to me. She says she was surprised with my good reaction to the non-promotion and wants to compensate for it, so in February I’m going to Paris to take a Leveraged Finance course, and she promised I’d get the promotion this year… we’ll see about it.

Family
Because of all the changes at work, things at home have been a bit complicated as well. As you guys probably know (or maybe not) I have a nanny/housekeeper from 8.30 am to 7 pm on weekdays. It used to be a nice arrangement but lately I have had to work later than 7 pm much more often. So I have to ask either DH or my Mom to be there at 7 pm and take care of the kids (dinner, etc). DH is the best husband ever and he’s been absolutely great. He says he’s never seen me so motivated and happy with my work and he is more than willing to help out as much as he can with the kids. And my Mom has also been great. But the fact is I can’t help but feel I’m being a negligent mother sometimes. I keep telling myself (and others) this is just a phase and I’m trying to achieve a certain position at work that will later allow me to work less. I just hope it’s true.

The Kids
The kids are doing great. R turned 4 and she thinks she’s all grown up now. We are taking her skiing in March and it makes her feel like a grown up. She tortures her brother because she always wants to pick him up, feed him, comb his hair, read him a story, help him do whatever it is he wants to do... you get the picture. Poor M is a saint and he loves his big sister, but he does get frustrated sometimes, poor kid. To defend himself he started walking before he turned one and has developed the gross motor skills of a 2 year old. He climbs and crawls and jumps, it’s actually funny to see such a small kid doing all these things. He’s the absolute opposite of my nephew (who’s one week younger), who just started walking.We do want one more child, but we will have to postpone that plan for a little longer than we first thought.

I promise I will post at least one new entry every week from now on. Cross my heart!

One year ago

2007-01-11T10:07:00.000Z

First of all, let me wish all of you a wonderful and happy new year. I hope your holidays were good, as mine were, and I hope this year is a great one.

As I was saying, a year ago today we were at the hospital, so that my dear husband could donate his kidney to his older brother. We were terrified, especially my MIL, who had two of her sons in surgery. It was an emotional day, but also a very good one.

Today we are going to my inlaws for a mini-celebration. The fact is we never thought this first year (the critical one, the doctors had told us) would go by so smoothly. BIL is doing great, he is 10 years younger and is doing things he hadn't done in 13 years, things as simple as traveling, drinking and playing soccer. We really couldn't have asked for more.

Happy Birthday

2006-12-19T09:08:00.000Z

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I last posted anything. Time is going by so fast it's actually scary.
Anyway, today is R's 4th birthday! That's even more scary, because I just don't see myself as having a grown daugther. This year we're taking her skiing with us! Scary.

Things at work should get better in January and hopefully I'll have more time to write. I'm not even sure what I have and haven't told you about. Like the fact that my boss had her baby and left most of her work for me to do.

If I don't write before Christmas (which I probably won't, to be honest) i just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Great New Year!

Quick update

2006-11-22T14:31:00.000Z

Work has been hectic, but what else is new right? That's one of the reasons I haven't been writing lately, but there is something else going on. I hope I can talk about it soon, but right now I just can't make myself write.

Anyway, today is a sad day. My sister was 10 weeks pregnant and she miscarried. I hadn't even told you she was pregnant had I?
My heart feels so heavy, because I know what she's going through and I know there's nothing I can do to make it better. I know time will heal the wound but I also know she doesn't want to hear that right now. So all I can do is listen and be there. I feel so helpless.

Pictures at last

2006-10-26T20:27:00.000+01:00

Here is the bride

Me

SIL the nun with my outfit

Younger SIL

SIL the dentist

R as a flower girl

The Wedding (pictures tomorrow)

2006-10-23T09:34:00.000+01:00

It went quite well actually. I’ll divide this up in parts so I don’t forget anything:

1 – The ceremony
The ceremony was beautiful. It started a little late if you ask me. 5.30 pm in late October is practically dark and with the rainy weather and all… well, it should’ve started an hour earlier. Anyway, they looked really happy; the priest, who knows my SIL since she was a kid, said some beautiful things and even spoke directly to my niece for a few minutes, which was really nice.
Mariana (my niece) wanted to sit with her mom the whole time and when she asked her to sit with grandma for a while she stared crying. Poor kid, it must be confusing for her. But then she had to read a prayer right after the vows and she couldn’t reach the speaker and P got up and went to lift her up … it was really sweet of him and I think it made her feel better.

2 – The outfits
SIL the bride looked great. I didn’t love the dress but it looked good on her (she’s lost some weight) and her hair and makeup were perfect. And she looked happy and that makes all the difference.
The flower girls’ dresses were ok. That’s about all I can say about them.
SIL the dentist wore black dress pants and a green top and she looked great, thank God. The SIL who got married in June was also beautiful and everyone commented on how thin and pretty she looked. SIL the nurse wore a pink pant suit she borrowed from me (again) and looked good, as always. The youngest SIL looked stunning, in a black and red dress. And me… well, my youngest BIL’s comment was “too much purple” but I’ll let you guys decide when you see the pictures.

3 – The reception
Because the ceremony was so late, and because the reception venue was a 45 minute drive, it started really late. But it went well. My in-laws were honestly happy. I guess they were relieved that this soap opera is finally over and they both smiled the whole time. Mariana was hysterical and she even cried a little when P put a little girl next to the bride and groom on top of the cake. All in all, it was a good day.

4 – The aftermath
I guess the family has been so stressed out about this wedding; it’s as if a huge weight was lifted. The last few weeks were really awkward, with everyone questioning whether P had actually moved out or not (remember, that was the deal so that he could come meet the in-laws), and Mariana throwing a tantrum every 10 minutes, and P coming over to my in-laws all the time… it was just a tough couple of weeks and it’s finally over. Things can go back to normal now.

Happy birthday(s)

2006-10-20T12:38:00.000+01:00

Today is my birthday. And Wednesday was Manel’s birthday. And I didn’t even write anything about it. I am a bad bad blogger. And lately I’ven also been a bad bad mommy, which is way worse. When I got home on Wednesday I hadn’t seen M in 3 days (I come to work before he wakes up and come home after he’s asleep) and he cried because the nanny left. You can imagine how that felt right? Not good.

Oh, and remember the trip to Madrid? The much needed vacation? Cancelled for work reasons. Well, not cancelled, but postponed, which by now sounds exactly the same to me. I’m so tired.

Anyway, things seem to have calmed down a little for now, but I don’t want to be too optimistic. And tomorrow is the Big Wedding. I promise I will find time to write a long funny post about it.

Excuses and more excuses

2006-10-11T09:58:00.000+01:00

I’m sorry I’ve been such a bad blogger lately but this is a very complicated month. We had our 5th anniversary last Friday, this Friday is older BIL’s birthday and Sunday younger BIL’s birthday. Then next week it starts all over again, with M’s birthday on Wednesday and mine on Friday (and my sister’s obviously). SIL’s wedding is on Saturday the 21st, then my nephew’s first birthday is on the 27th and ZM’s 30th birthday is on 29th. Honestly, October is the most complicated month of the entire year and I’m already exhausted.

Anyway, we had our anniversary last Friday. We went to this really fancy restaurant, which was also really good, and then rented a movie and went home. It was a nice calm evening but just what I needed.
Things at work have been hectic and I worked the last two weekends, so I’m absolutely exhausted (I’ve said that before haven’t I? Sorry, no time to proof read). I’ve been having 6 to 10 expressos a day and I can feel the Chron’s starting to flare up (stress is definitely what causes the crisis). So we decided to take a few days off and will be going to Madrid for 5 days in November, after all the birthdays and anniversaries and weddings. My boss wasn’t too happy with this but even he can see how much I need it.

I’ll try to post more often but I have a feeling October will not be a busy month on this blog. Sorry.

The picture, at last

2006-10-04T11:04:00.000+01:00

Can you believe I only found one picture of my SIL! And it’s an old picture from our wedding, 5 years ago, with my niece. Anyway, here it is

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode VII

2006-10-02T17:30:00.000+01:00

Wow, it’s been awhile hun? Things have been hectic at work and I spent the weekend at the office so no time to post anything. I will have to write a long work-related update one of these days but it’ll have to be sometime next week.

Anyway, last Friday we finally had the big event (read the engagement dinner). SIL ended up inviting P’s mom, his dad and his dad’s girlfriend and 3 of P’s half-sisters. You can not imagine how uncomfortable my in-laws were with this party but I think they were actually great, very polite and nicer than I would’ve expected. It was awkward at first, of course, but it ended up being a nice evening. We did skip the traditional speech, in which P would have asked SIL’s hand in marriage to FIL. It just seemed like too much and I’m glad he decided not to do it.

The wedding is in 3 weeks and then finally this family will be back to normal (or their kind of normal anyway). Not much longer now!

Tomorrow I’ll be away on a business trip but I promise to try to post a picture of SIL on Wednesday.

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode VI

2006-09-18T11:41:00.000+01:00

There are a few developments and I think we can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel:

The flower girls dresses – SIL bought these cute little white dresses for 30 euros a piece and is going to have orange ribbons made for them. I think it will turn out just fine and it’s one more problem to think about.
The party – SIL borrowed 3,000 euros from the bank so that they can invite a few more people, which will make a total of 100 guests. They are already way over their heads with debt but then they are exactly the kind of people who will always exceed their budget. We paid her credit cards a couple of years ago because she was in a really bad place and she never even mentioned the possibility of paying us back, so this kind of thing makes ZM a little crazy but, hey, it’s their life right?
The invitations – are printed and will be sent this week. Finally.
The engagement dinner – well, my MIL told them to invite whoever they thought they should, which was really the right thing to do if you ask me. They haven’t said who’s coming or not, but I can tell you it’s going to be one tense evening.
The outfits – everyone except the nurse have decided what to wear and this time I think it’ll be mostly peaceful. The SILs who’s a dentist (the one with the cleavage, remember?) is wearing black pants but hasn’t decided on the top yet.

That’s about it for now, I think.

Bored, oh so bored

2006-09-14T12:23:00.000+01:00

The problem with this job is as much the crazy days as the slow ones. Today is one of those days. I have absolutely nothing to do, and yet I still have to be here, sitting at my desk, pretending I’m working. I. Hate. This. And the worse part is that my boss’ desk is directly behind mine so all he has to do is lift his eyes to see my screen, which means I can’t even surf the net as much as I would like. I keep thinking that M is home with the nanny, it’s a beautiful sunny day outside, probably one of the last this summer, and I’m stuck here. Ugh.
I read the newspapers, answered all my pending emails, called my Mom and my sister, read a couple of blogs and am right about to run out of ideas. And it’s not even lunch time yet. I would much rather be swamped, seriously.

I'm still alive

2006-09-11T16:26:00.000+01:00

God, I just realized it’s been a whole week since my last post. Time is just flying and I’m barely finding the time to breathe.
Last week I had yet another business trip and had to spend the night away. But the project is finally over so there won’t be anymore trips to Porto. Now my next project is in Azores, which is an island so it means I won’t be able to drive there and back as I used to do with this project in Porto. I will have to spend the night there every single time… nice, I can’t wait. Damn.

M has been sleeping better though he’s teething (we hope, since he’s almost 11 months old and doesn’t have one single tooth) so we’re not sure how long this good phase will last. So we’re making the best of it and on Saturday we woke up at 11.15 am. That was heaven.
I’m taking him to the ped today for a well-baby visit, which he hasn’t had for almost 3 months so I’m kinda looking forward to it (I just know I will regret having said this later today).

R’s school started last week and she’s just hysterical to see her friends again. She woke up on Sunday asking if she could go to school already. Wouldn’t it be nice if this would last, say, 15 years? Yesterday we spent the afternoon organizing her closet, putting away the clothes that don’t fit anymore, and she kept saying that she wanted to keep this and that for her baby sister. For some reason she’s convinced she’ll have a sister named Maria after Christmas. Not sure what gave her that idea.

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode V

2006-09-04T15:36:00.000+01:00

Since my last email, M has been sleeping much better and that makes all the difference, as I knew it would. On Friday I took the day off because we had a wedding at 4 pm, so we had a nice three-day weekend to relax and enjoy what will probably be one of the last weekends of sunny summer weather.

As for The Wedding, there have been a couple of changes that have caused further tension in The Family.
First of all, my SIL says she will not be coming back home after all, but rather it’s P who’s going to move in with his uncle a month before the wedding. Obviously, the doubts about whether or not he’s actually moving out are in everyone’s mind. But thankfully my FIL decided to at least pretend he believes them and the engagement dinner is still scheduled for the 29th of this month.
The next problem is who to invite. Both of P’s parents are divorced and remarried and my FIL doesn’t want to invite any of the step parents. In his mind, P’s parents are married to each other for the rest of their lives and are, again, living in sin with their new spouses. MIL is trying to convince him to let P decide who to invite (which is obviously everyone) but it’s his house and he just feels bad about it.
Just to give you some background, ZM’s only cousin married a divorced woman 5 years ago and has 2 children with her. To this day they have never set foot in FIL’s house, and were not invited to SIL’s wedding, even though SIL is their son’s godmother.
Then there’s the problem with the invitations. Here in Portugal tradition says that when the bride’s parents pay for the wedding reception, they’re the ones whose names show up in the invitation. But P isn’t comfortable with that and wants his parents’ names to be in the invitation as well. My MIL is insisting it’s not protocol and will not give in, so the invitations have not even been printed, when it should be time to start sending them.
We haven’t even discussed the flower girls dresses anymore, but I foresee a very tense couple of months ahead…

Shopping therapy

2006-08-29T11:13:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was football night and it was also my SIL’s boyfriend’s birthday and they went out for dinner so I was home alone with the kids. I was so tired and my neck was so sore (I really have to see what this pain is) I was practically in tears. R came to me, put her head on my lap and told me “Mommy, please don’t make that face”. I swear my heart missed a beat. I have no right to make my 3 year old child be worried about me. She said she wanted to sit with me on the couch and see a book with pictures of animals, so I sat with her and we saw the pictures. Then I put M to bed and we baked a cake together, which is her favourite thing in the world.

M slept a lot better tonight so I’m feeling less tired and my neck is almost normal, after tons of meds. I’m going to have lunch with my sister and we’re going shopping. I usually have lunch with ZM and the kids but today I told him I needed to buy my Mom’s birthday present (which is true) and so I would have lunch with my sister.

Tomorrow I have a meeting in Porto, which is a two-hour drive each way. I’m going with my boss who for some reason has been in a foul mood lately so that should be fun.

Lack of sleep and marital problems

2006-08-28T17:09:00.000+01:00

It’s amazing the impact that lack of sleep can have in one’s life. Manel has not been sleeping well lately, maybe because he’s teething, or too excited about his new found walking skills (he’s taking 3 or 4 steps unassisted), or going through a growth spurt. Whatever the reason is, it’s taking a toll on me and, what’s most scary, on our marriage.

Now, I know I always brag about how a great husband and father ZM is, and he really is. But there is this one thing about him that can drive me crazy at a time like this. He. Will. Not. Wake. Up. when the kids cry at night. No matter how often I call him and tell him I’m tired and need him to go there just this once, he just does not get up. Granted M doesn’t really cry, he just groans and turns until I give him his binkie and he never really wakes up. But that’s enough to keep me awake so I can’t just ignore him.
How does he do it when I’m away on business? I don’t know really. He says M always sleeps through the night when I’m not there, but I think he just doesn’t hear him.

I know this is not ZM’s fault and there’s nothing he can do about it (even if he takes M with him to another part of the house, I still can’t sleep unless there’s absolute silence). But what makes me angry at him is that during the evenings and on weekends, there are always times at which I take both kids so that he can do his stuff (computer time, naps, football, whatever) and yet he never ever remembers that I may want some time for myself as well. When I’m not sleep deprived it isn’t really an issue because I don’t mind spending the whole weekend with the kids, but when I’m this tired, I really long for just a couple of hours on my own, to take a long bath with a book and a glass of wine or even, who knows, to take a much needed nap.

This morning I lost it and threw it in his face that he had taken a 2 hour nap yesterday, and spent 3 hours on the computer, and is going to play football this evening, and yet I can’t remember when the last time was that I had half an hour for myself. To which he said that I went out to buy diapers all by myself Saturday night!! Can you believe the nerve?! I nearly lost it. He then tried to make amends and told me I just had to ask and he would take the kids whenever I wanted. But I didn’t want to have to ask, I wanted him to acknowledge how tired I am (which I feel he really doesn’t) and do something because he’s worried about me, not because I ask him to.

About work and something bothering me

2006-08-24T12:29:00.000+01:00

Sorry no updates lately. Have I mentioned how cyclical my job is? There are days when I can spend hours not doing anything remotely work related, surfing the net, checking message boards, etc, and then there are days, like this week, when I don’t even have time to go to the bathroom except when my bladder feels like it’s really going to explode, and then I run from my desk to the bathroom and back so I don’t fail my next deadline by too much. That’s why I haven’t been posting lately.
This rollercoaster becomes really hard to manage because you just never know what your day will end up being like. Especially when you have a boss who tells clients they will get a presentation the next morning and then tells you to do it. I actually like my new boss much much better than the old one, but no boss is ever perfect right? It comes with the job to be an asshole every once in a while.

Having my SIL stay with us for the past two weeks has been really good. Not only do I not have to stress about being home at 7 but my evenings are also much better, since R wants SIL to play with her, brush her teeth and put her to bed. So I have actually been able to sit on the couch and read some (sometimes I forget how much I love to read).

Question for you. Do you consider flirting to be betraying? As in, if you flirt with someone, do you feel like you’re betraying your husband/wife/significant other?

Picture Time

2006-08-21T11:06:00.000+01:00

I realize it’s been a while since I last posted pictures of the kids. We took a few during the summer so here they are.

Living the good life

2006-08-18T12:07:00.000+01:00

This year, my housekeeper/nanny decided to take a whole month of vacation in August. When she told us this back in May we just assumed we would easily find someone to stay at home with M and R would go back to school (her school is open 12 months a year). But as August came closer we realized we had no one to stay with him and no clue on where to hire someone. We started to panic.

Then a couple of weeks ago my younger SIL asked if I knew of a Summer job she could take during the last 3 weeks of August, because she has no exams in September this year and she could use the extra money. I couldn’t believe my luck. I told her I needed someone to take care of Manel until September 1st and would pay her the same as I would pay a hired nanny (to which she immediately said she would do it for free, but of course I couldn’t accept that and I’ll pay her the fair amount). I told her she would have to be at my house a little before 9am and I would be home at 7pm to take over.
A couple of days later she says she has something to ask me. She says she would prefer to move in with us during those 3 weeks, so she doesn’t have to wake up so early. And she would also prefer to keep both R and M at home because she thinks R should have more than 2 weeks off school and it’s actually more fun with her than just M (which I totally agree).

So now we’ve had a live-in nanny for a week. And I’m loving it. I come home from work and I don’t have to do everything myself, she is always willing to help with bath-time and dinner and bedtime. We even went out for dinner on Wednesday and didn’t have to worry about being home at a specific time. After this, I can understand why most of my friends are hiring live-in housekeepers.

Last night my older SIL (the one who’s getting married) called to ask us (me and younger SIL) if she could leave my niece at my house for 3 days next week. The kid has been staying with her father but she wants to come back to Lisbon and my SIL has nowhere to leave her during the day. So she wants to drop her off before she goes to work and pick her up in the afternoon. Of course I said yes (and so did SIL) because we don’t want the poor kid to be left alone in an apartment with dh’s grandmother for 3 days (which is the alternative). But it really pisses me off that she didn’t even say anything about splitting expenses (she’ll be having all her meals at my house, SIL is driving my car, I’m leaving money for zoo tickets, snacks and stuff, etc) and she always gets what she wants. She even took the opportunity to complain a little more about my MIL and how unfair it is that she will only have 90 guests at her wedding. Ugh!

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode IV

2006-08-16T11:29:00.000+01:00

You can imagine what the most discussed subject was during this vacation with the in-laws of course.
The Wedding was rescheduled for the 21st of October, which gives us one more week to prepare. And surprisingly enough, almost everything has been already settled. My Mom and my MIL finally found a good place for the reception (which my Mom says is better than the place of the previous wedding reception). They have a very acceptable price, but the number of guests will still have to be limited because my MIL had to ask my younger BIL for an advance to pay for the reception and he only has 5,000 euros.

My SIL’s attitude has changed for the worse and whatever sympathy I had for her situation is practically gone. She keeps complaining that the budget my MIL is giving her is half that of my other SIL, and yet she keeps forgetting that she announced her wedding a couple of weeks after the other wedding, with a 3 months notice. She also forgets that my MIL pays for her therapy, her daughter’s school, her groceries… Honestly, she is absolutely the most self-centred person I have ever known.
She is also still insisting on new dresses for the flower girls, and of course she’s always complaining that she has to pay for them herself (which my other SIL did too, but that means nothing to her, because she’s always the eternal victim). Zé Maria wanted to tell her we would not allow R to have a new dress, whether she paid for it or not, but I think I talked him out of it. I do see his point though.

What I haven’t been able to do yet is convince my MIL to buy a new outfit for this wedding. She is dead set on wearing the same outfit she wore to my wedding, 5 years ago. She says that if she has to ask BIL for money to pay for the reception, she will not spend money on a new outfit she doesn’t need. And I don’t think she will change her mind. The rest of the SILs haven’t decided what they’ll wear yet, but I’ll let you guys know when I have news.

FIL is still refusing to meet P until SIL moves back home, which is scheduled for the 30th of September. On that day, there will be an engagement dinner at my in-laws. That will be fun, and I’m sure it will warrant a good post on this blog. This situation caused some awkward moments, as SIL and P were spending the weekends at P’s beach house, which is on the same beach as the in-laws’. I can’t wait for this to be over.

Ok, I think that’s it for now. More later.

So, did you miss me?

2006-08-14T11:40:00.000+01:00

That’s right, vacation is over. Tomorrow is a holiday and Zé Maria took the day off today and is still at the beach house with the kids. I’m going back there after work and will spend one last day at the beach tomorrow. So that makes the transition from vacation-mode to work-mode a bit less drastic.
It’s funny how two weeks can simultaneously fly by and feel like an eternity. We had a good time, the weather was perfect and the kids behaved beautifully (well, not always, but I prefer to forget the not so good episodes). And surprisingly enough (remember, 17 people in the same house) I got some rest, both physically and psychologically.
The Family, as I’ve said before, is a constant source of entertainment, what with all of us having to juggle so that FIL doesn’t meet SIL and her fiancé while going to the same beach but staying a few meters apart and stuff like that. But once you get into the rhythm of it all, it’s actually fun. And there’s always someone willing (and wanting) to feed the kids, give them a bath, take them for a swim, etc. No one offered to take M when he woke up at 7.30 am once again, though. But hubby and I took turns taking him out of the house while the other slept in with R until 10.30. Overall, it was a very good vacation.

I’m sure some of the funniest episodes will come to mind in the next couple of days and I’ll write about them. For now, I have to check my million emails and get this show running again.

Off to the beach

2006-07-28T11:28:00.000+01:00

We’re going on vacation tomorrow, for 2 weeks. We’ll be going to my in-laws beach house with 14 or 15 other people and though it will be a bit chaotic, I’m sure we’ll have lots of fun.
The first time I went to their beach house in the summer, Zé Maria and I were still dating and I had to be officially invited by one of the SILs as her friend, as I couldn’t be invited as ZM’s girlfriend. Of course everyone knew I wasn’t really SIL’s friend, but it’s all a question of image. Anyway, spending a week in a house with 15 people and only 3 bathrooms was a real test to my ability to be a part of this family. Picture 15 people coming home from the beach at 7 pm and all of them having to shower, get dressed and ready for dinner at 8.30. It’s not pretty, I tell you. And cooking, doing the dishes, laundry, cleaning, everything assumes a whole different proportion. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn’t be more peaceful in Israel.
We will take the laptop and will have internet access, so if anything exciting happens I’ll post something. If not, well, I’ll be here on the 14th.

Gone

2006-07-24T12:39:00.000+01:00

Going on a business trip once again. Be back tomorrow evening and will try to post something interesting on Wednesday.

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode III

2006-07-21T10:38:00.000+01:00

My SIL chose and ordered her wedding dress last Saturday. I don’t love it, but I guess it’s ok. She’s 1.47 m (4 feet 10 inches) tall (or short if you’d like), and on the chubby side (ok, she’s fat), so there isn’t one long white dress in the world that would make her look like a model. But she looked ok in it, and she was really happy, so that’s what matters.
My SIL who got married last month is paying for the dress, more as a gift to her mother, to thank her for her own wedding, than to older SIL. I’m still paying for the veil though.

We still haven’t further discussed the flower girls dresses but my MIL has made it quite clear that she will not be paying for new ones. I’m not sure if SIL will agree to use the same ones, but I still think it’s ridiculous to spend that kind of money on new dresses they will wear once, when they have perfectly good ones. But hey, that’s just my opinion.

A couple of nights ago we had a brainstorming session to discuss ideas for the reception. Having scheduled this wedding only 3 months in advance, my SIL has to get used to the idea that it will not be easy to find a great place, and we may have to settle for an ok place. So far we haven’t even found that. And since my MIL is seriously limiting the amount of money she’ll pay for the reception I don’t think it’ll be easy.

My FIL is still refusing to meet P until they are no longer living together. So my MIL is going to talk to them and see if SIL would be ok with coming back home on her birthday (September 23rd) and we would have a small birthday/engagement party then. Honestly, I don’t know what to say. If they agree, it will be painful to watch the charade, but at least things will be solved before the wedding.

To be continued…

It's not so bad after all

2006-07-20T18:26:00.000+01:00

You all know that English is not my mother tongue. Although I know I get my point across (or at least so it seems, judging by your comments) I have my doubts about the quality of my spoken, but mostly my written, use of the language

So I took this test I got from Joe's blog, and here's the result. Not so bad hun?

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 80%

Punctuation: 80%

Spelling: 80%

Vocabulary: 60%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Work and stuff

2006-07-18T15:19:00.000+01:00

I just realised I haven’t updated on my work situation for quite awhile now, and decided to write something about it. So here it goes.

As you may have noticed from the lack of business trips lately, things at work have calmed down a little. Summer is always kinda slow here and then it will start to pick up again in September. My boss is currently on vacation and his boss (the nice woman who told me I created a dangerous precedent by leaving at 7) is now very obviously pregnant and trying to slow down a bit (she’s 36 and apparently had been trying to get pregnant for quite awhile).

The promotions are now pretty much a thing of the past. Everyone in the damn office has already manifested their indignity about my non-promotion (the same ones, be sure, who would have clamed how unfair it was that someone who leaves at 7 gets promoted) and I’ve been assured time and again that I will certainly get the promotion next year. But all is nice and forgotten now.

As for me, I’ve thought about it a lot, I’ve taken my time to calm down and let my wounded pride heal and have come to a few conclusions. I’m 26 years old and have reached a rather enviable position in my career. I have more responsibility and make more money than most (if not all) of my (girl) friends. I like my job, I like the people I work with and, after 5 years, I know how things work around here, and people know how I work. And the office is a 5 minute walk from my house and R’s school, which is really a great thing. So basically I have to admit that this is a very good situation, and I shouldn’t let my pride force me into changing to something worse. Even the woman (the pregnant one) who hinted that I should start looking for a new job seems to have changed her position on the subject. So for now I’m staying here, doing my best as I always have (couldn’t do it any other way) and if I don’t get the promotion next year, then I’ll leave.

Staying

2006-07-17T12:25:00.000+01:00

I can’t believe I’m actually saying this, and it breaks my heart, but we will not be going to Israel next month after all. The situation is truly, how can I put it… complicated there, and the Portuguese government specifically asked Portuguese citizens not to travel to that region. I’m not sure when we will be able to go there, but I do know we will go as soon as we can. Meanwhile, I pray that things get better.

So we will be spending two weeks at my in-laws beach house, right in the middle of the wedding preparation caos, G*d help us. My SIL and BIL who got married last month will also be there for the two weeks, and they were thrilled to know they’ll have company. In the end, I’m sure it will be an entertaining vacation, and the kids love it there.

Q&A

2006-07-13T10:52:00.000+01:00

Ok, this post is to answer a few of the questions you asked in the comments.
1 – No, it’s not a tradition for SILs to give the brides a dress. It’s just that one month ago I gave my other SIL her wedding dress and am afraid I’ve created a precedent by doing so. But that dress cost me 1,500 euros and I just don’t have that kind of money right now. I did talk to my SIL yesterday and offered to give her the veil, which she told me would cost 80 euros, so I guess she got the message that I won’t be giving her the dress.
2 – Can my other SILs and BILs give her the dress? Well, there are the younger ones who don’t work yet and couldn’t afford to. There’s the nun, and there’s the one who got married last month, and who currently can’t afford to for obvious reasons (honeymoon, new house). And then there are the older ones who could afford to but do not have the best relationship with this SIL right now. Particularly there’s my oldest BIL, who would easily be able to pay it all by himself, but who is currently not speaking to my SIL and is in fact questioning whether he’s even going to the wedding (that will make a whole new post).
3 – The flower girls dresses. I have suggested that we use the same ones and just change the ribbons, make them red or green instead of white. But my SIL says they’re the dresses my other SIL chose, the colour my other SIL chose and thinks she is as entitled as she was to have the dresses she chooses. So you see, she’s not the saint in all this, in fact, she’s quite the opposite sometimes.
4 – Elope. Well, when she first started talking about getting married I suggested that they did a small ceremony, with only family and a few friends and maybe a simple brunch or something. She flat out told me she wanted the white dress, the flower girls, the big party with all her friends, the whole circus. And would not settle for anything less, even if it meant she would have to wait another year to do it. When we were all convinced my in-laws would not pay for any of it (which they had sworn they wouldn’t), she said she would get a bank loan.
(OK, to be totally fair, the wedding will not be as big as my other SIL’s. There will be 100 guests instead of 180)

The Wedding - Season 2, Episode II

2006-07-12T09:39:00.000+01:00

Things have not improved since I last wrote. In fact, if anything, they have gotten worse. My FIL still refuses to meet “a man who, at night, will sleep in my daughter’s bed”. My MIL has made it her personal crusade to convince him to let SIL and P come to dinner but so far all it’s gotten her was some serious fights. She tries to tell him that they do want to make it right, and he should be like the Father in the Prodigal Son story, and even Jesus dined with the publicans, etc. I have even offered my house (and got into a fight with my husband) for a family reunion, if being in neutral territory would make FIL more comfortable. But there seems to be nothing we can say to convince him.
And so SIL is starting to consider asking one of her brothers to walk her down the aisle. How sad is that?
Tomorrow we start looking for a wedding dress. This time I won’t have enough money to give her the dress as I gave my other SIL (with the trip to Brazil, the trip to Israel and the first dress…), but I kinda get the feeling she’s expecting me to, so I’ll have to find a subtle way to let her know I won’t. She’s been complaining that my in-laws spent all their money on my other SIL’s wedding and now there’s none left for hers, and she doesn’t want the flower girls to wear the same dresses …this is not going to be easy.

The Wedding - Season 2

2006-07-07T16:31:00.000+01:00

The reason I haven’t been posting as regularly is, as usual, work. Between that, the children, and watching season 5 of “24” I just haven’t had time to write something remotely intelligent.

Anyway, The Family (if you can’t figure out who I’m talking about, read the Wedding saga) has big news. My oldest SIL, who has been “living in sin” (should read, living with her boyfriend not having married him) has been proposed to and will be getting married in October. That’s right, 4 months from now. Now how happy are you that there will be a second wedding saga for you guys to follow on my blog? And let me tell you, this one will be more dramatic than the last one.

So here’s the background: My oldest SIL is the black sheep in this family. She was a single mom at 21 and back then (I wasn’t in The Family yet) I’m told my FIL went a whole week without eating and had a nervous breakdown. This has been a defining event for this family. Just so you have an idea, when my MIL first met my Mom, the first thing she said was “You know about my daughter Maria, it’s a tragedy, but these things happen you know”. They always feel the need to justify it.
So last summer she starts dating this guy (will call him P) and within 1 month, she has moved out of my in-laws house with her daughter and P is living with them. You can imagine my in-laws reaction. They went nuts, they refused to meet the guy and practically condemned my SIL to burn in hell for all eternity.
Anyway, almost a year has passed and they’re still together. In January I finally convinced my husband to invite them over so we could meet him. And we liked him, a lot. And we started inviting them more often and we’re convinced he’s a wonderful person and he really loves her. And now they’re getting married.
About a month ago, when the rumours of marriage started, my MIL made a huge sacrifice (no irony here, it really was) and went to their house to meet P and told him it was nothing personal and they just didn’t agree with them living “in sin”. He told her he wanted to marry her and I think my MIL kinda liked him. But so far my FIL has never met him. He hasn’t even congratulated his daughter on her engagement. We’re all hoping he will meet the guy before the wedding, it would be rather awkward for him to give his daughter away at the altar to someone he’s never even seen.
P even suggested that SIL could go back to my in-laws house 2 weeks before the wedding so that things would all be “right”. And my MIL actually loved the idea!!!! These people are nuts I tell you, but they are sure a constant source of entertainement.
So get ready, it’s season 2 of The Wedding.

Pictures

2006-07-05T10:45:00.000+01:00

There are too many, and I really don't have time to choose and since they are all uploaded to shutterfly anyway, here is the link, if anyone wants to see them.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AbM3DNo2cM2X3

Today Portugal plays against France. I didn't think I would be nervous about it, but I am.

I'm back

2006-07-03T11:06:00.000+01:00

We had a great time. We had three days of good weather and three days of not so good weather, so there was time to go to the beach and time to visit Salvador and shop and watch plenty of soccer. The kids did absolutely great, the flights went smoothly and we really got to rest and relax.
Brazil is beautiful of course. This was my third trip there and they were all so different. Salvador has absolutely nothing to do with Rio or even Porto Seguro, but it is a beautiful, beautiful city (though I dare say I liked Rio better). We will be going back to Brazil next year, though probably a little sooner.
I haven’t had time to download the pictures yet, since we arrived on Saturday, had a Baptism that day and a kids birthday party on Sunday. But I will do it soon and then post a few here.

Oh, and my boss did call me on my vacation, even though I thought I had left everything taken care of.

Brazil, soon.

2006-06-22T12:58:00.000+01:00

Sorry I haven’t posted in awhile. Zé Maria is in Germany to watch the Portugal – Mexico match (which we won!) and I’m preparing for our trip to Brazil, trying to leave things at work sufficiently organized that my boss will not need to call me for the whole week.
Being alone with the kids for two nights is proving to be more stressful for me than it should be really, particularly considering that Zé Maria does it all the time when I go on my countless business trips. Add that to the fact that R is going to the beach with her school this week, which means I have to drop her off at school a whole hour earlier than usual. Oh, and M is teething and hasn’t been sleeping so well. I’m one tired mommy right now.

Anyway, Monday I had lunch with the beautiful Lioness (and no, the hair did not look that bad at all). We should definitely do this more often, I can’t believe the last time we were together I was still pregnant and M is now 8 months old. Time really flies. We talked some about Israel (among other things of course) and I’m so anxious to go. I can’t believe we’re going in only a little more than a month.

I will probably not be posting before we go Brazil, and certainly not while we’re there, so I’ll be back in about 10 days.

The Wedding – The final post

2006-06-19T09:13:00.000+01:00

The Short Version
It went very very well. The bride looked beautiful, the weather was nice and everyone was happy.

The Really Long Version with Pictures
At 9.25 am my SIL came by my house to pick me up (DH and I only have one car and he needed it to take the kids to my in-laws). She looked tired but not as nervous as I expected. We spent 2.5 hours at the hairdresser, having our hair and makeup done and trying not to stress out about the weather, which by then looked pretty bad. It was nice to be away from the chaos at my in-laws though, as I predicted.
At 12.30 we arrived at my in-laws and started getting dressed, since the photographer was already there and everyone else was ready, except the kids. I started dressing R, who was way too excited about her “princess dress” and couldn’t possibly wait a minute longer. About 2 minutes later she starts screaming that her shoes are too tight and it’s hurting. Thankfully, there is a kids shoes store right next to my in-laws house and it’s open on Saturdays, so one of my SIL’s friends offered to go there with R and buy new shoes. But for a moment there I was imagining her walking down the aisle barefoot.

After spending 15 minutes buttoning up 30 or so buttons in SIL’s dress (my fingers were seriously sore afterwards) she was finally ready and she looked absolutely lovely.
Many (too many) pictures later, at 2.30 pm, we finally left for the church, and by then the weather was even worse. It never rained though, thank God. Apparently, most people did end up coming to the ceremony instead of watching the game because the church was full. However, several people were getting text messages when Portugal scored, so everyone was well informed about the really important stuff.
The ceremony went very well, the choir sang beautifully and there were lots of tears and smeared make up. It was beautiful.
By the end of the ceremony the weather had began to get better and it was nice enough to have the cocktail and pictures outdoors. The party was lovely, the food was great, the music was a bit too loud and everyone danced for hours. R danced like crazy, holding her princess dress up and spinning around. She really wanted to dance with this 5 year old boy who was too shy to dance with her but wouldn’t take his eyes of her. Too funny. At about 11 pm my parents left the party and took both my kids home with them which was heaven. I finally got to eat something and dance with my husband.
At 2 am I went to help my SIL get out of her wedding dress (another 15 minutes to unbutton) and change into something more comfortable. Then she went back to say goodbye to her parents and her siblings, and there were even more tears (including mine this time). I was so tired I could barely walk by then, but it was worth it. It all went perfectly.

The Dresses

My oldest SIL did in fact take the pregnant dress but it seems she gained a bit more weight and she did look kinda pregnant. It wasn’t quite the effect I had expected but it wasn’t too bad. Unfortunately she was so late she didn’t come to my in-laws before the ceremony so I have no picture of her. I will try to get one from some else’s camera though.
My SIL the dentist took the pornographic dress and looked awful. I wish there was a nicer way to put it but there isn’t. It was tragic and everyone was commenting. She wore a scarf over her shoulders and cleavage to church, which was my mom’s idea. It was a smart move and probably why my FIL didn’t freak out. Here’s the picture, though it doesn’t really make it justice:

My SIL the nun looked good and it wasn’t so hot that she looked ridiculous in the blazer. She’s nun, we didn’t expect her to look sexy right?

My youngest SIL looked great and I guess she finally realized the importance of having a good hairdresser and a good make up.

And here is a picture of me and the kids:

That’s it folks.

The Wedding - Part X

2006-06-16T12:24:00.000+01:00

So the wedding is tomorrow. At 9.30 I will pick my SIL up and take her to the hairdresser, where we will hopefully spend a couple of hours away from the absolute chaos that will be my in-laws’ house. Then at 12 noon the photographer will be at my in-laws to start taking pictures and the show will begin.

Since the wedding is at 2.30 pm, we will have to have something to eat, so my MIL hired a cook (one more person in an already over crowded house) to make a bunch of light, easy-to-eat-as-you-get-dressed-and-take-pictures stuff and invited my parents to come over for lunch (two more people, adding to a grand total of 24). I can only imagine the chaos.

The dresses
My oldest SIL, the lawyer, came to my house last Monday and borrowed a maternity dress I bought last summer, but that actually looked pretty good on her (she has gained a few pounds). Apparently, the dress she stole from my youngest SIL no longer fits her. Ironic hun?
My SIL the dentist finally tried on her dress in front of my MIL and my SIL the bride and they both said it was pornographic (maybe not using this exact same word) and she is now depressed because she really wants to wear it but realizes she shouldn’t. I have no idea if she has an alternative but I’ll let you know how that ended.
My SIL the nun will in fact take my dress and my blazer but since the weather is so bad now, I no longer think that’s a bad idea at all.
My youngest SIL, the one whose dress got stolen, bought a new, more beautiful dress that looks great on her. So the dress that got stolen will not even be worn.

I will try to take as many pictures with my camera as possible, so that you can finally have an image of all I’ve been babbling about here for the past few months.

The Wedding - Part IX

2006-06-14T15:40:00.000+01:00

At 2 pm on Saturday Portugal meets Iran in a soccer match for the World Cup. If you knew how obsessed the Portuguese people are about soccer you would understand why this is such a big issue for my SIL. You see, the wedding is at 2.30 pm, which means some people (I am hoping not too many) will skip the ceremony and meet us at the party, after the game. Now try telling this to a soon-to-be bride who has been planning said ceremony for 6 months…
Add to that the fact that yesterday it started raining like it hasn’t rained all winter, and there is no indication that it will stop soon, and you’ll get one mess of a woman who is convinced the world is conspiring against her.

Tonight we’re going to my in-laws for dinner, to make sure everyone remains calm (or at least under control) and to see if there is anything we can do tomorrow, since it’s a holiday here. Hopefully the weather will be better soon.

The Wedding - Part VIII

2006-06-09T16:19:00.000+01:00

The big day is a week from tomorrow and the level of stress… well, by now I guess you can imagine what it’s like.
This weekend we (my SIL, her girl friends and me) are going to the beach house for what will be two whole days of eating, drinking, sun bathing and small talking. I think I may be needing this girl’s weekend out more than she is right now. Things are not easy at work but I don’t really wanna talk about it anymore.
Monday is the final fitting of the wedding dress (which I will miss because I’ll be on yet another business trip) and then we’ll spend the rest of the week preparing the last details (organizing the tables, getting manicures, buying the flowers, etc). R is getting so excited about wearing the “princess dress” I think she’ll stop sleeping altogether by Wednesday. I have still to buy a white shirt for M to use with the shorts my SIL had made for him, matching the flower girl dresses. Then we can finally put this show on the road!

And then it’s Brazil on the 24th. I can’t wait.

Leaving the cave

2006-06-05T16:11:00.000+01:00

We went to a friend’s beach house for the weekend. Two couples, 5 children under 5. I obviously had no time to think about my professional troubles and I’m physically exhausted but mentally relaxed.

Being with my friends who have children, whose life is more than their jobs, helps me put things into perspective. I am reminded of why I choose my family first. Not because I have no money for an aupair (which my boss suggested I should get, in order to have full time availability) but because I want to raise my own kids, and watch them grow and make a difference in their lives. I’m still sad and angry with all that’s happened but I’ve decided that this is not important enough to depress me and so I’m slowly crawling out of my cave and am soon going to start looking for a new, better job.

It almost sounds like a bad joke

2006-06-02T10:32:00.000+01:00

I wish I had crawled into my cave, but instead my boss called me at 8 pm because the New Girl messed up and he desperately needed me to come fix it up. For a moment there, I actually thought it was a bad joke.
So after the kids were ready for bed I went back to the office and worked until midnight. He then gave me a lift home and at least had the courtesy of thanking me for coming in to help him. And then I crawled into my cave and cried.

Going into my cave for awhile

2006-06-01T17:11:00.000+01:00

Things are not good. I didn’t get the promotion I was expecting after all. The reason I didn’t get it, and I am now quoting my boss, was “not a question of output, but rather of a precedent you are creating by leaving at 6.45 pm every day. Next thing you know, I’ll have the other girls getting pregnant and asking me to leave at 6.45 pm “.
So, not because I don’t do a good enough job, but rather because I create a dangerous precedent, I don’t get the promotion and am subtly asked to start looking for something else.
I can obviously say to hell with them, but the fact is I’m sad. I love my job, I love what I do and I don’t see myself doing anything else. And I feel profoundly wronged, I feel this is all so unfair, I hate it that others whose work is not as good as mine have gotten the promotion I was hoping for because they get out later than I do. I’m so hurt I’ve been on the verge of tears several time today. And I hate that.
Anyway, I’ll start looking for a new job, and even though my boss says there’s no hurry and that he is not pressuring me in any way, now that all has been said, I want out as soon as possible.

And now I crawl back into my cave.

The Wedding - Part VII

2006-05-29T15:56:00.000+01:00

After a horrible couple of days, I’m finally back to normal. Being sick seriously sucks, let me tell you, and I would much rather work then stay home feeling the way I did.

Anyway, the wedding is less than 3 weeks away and the level of stress is now … how can I put it?... dangerous. On Saturday SIL was showing me some candles she had bought trying to decide which to use for the centrepieces. She was telling me that the ones she liked the most cost 1 euro a piece while the others, not quite so nice, were only 30 cents a piece. My husband, typical man that he is, ignorant of how hypersensitive all brides-to-be are, tells her not be petty and worry over a couple of cents, which caused an immediate flow of incontrollable tears, that lasted for far far longer than the comment warranted. Hubby was so disconcerted he even offered to pay for the candles.

The flower girls dresses are finally ready and turned out beautiful. There was some fabric left so I had shorts made for Manel. On Saturday I went to every kids stores I know looking for white socks for all the girls to wear, since the mother of one of the children told me she was planning on putting navy (!!!!!) socks on the poor girl. Navy. Socks. To go with a yellow and white dress. Whatever. So far I’m paying for the wedding dress, candles and flower girls socks. But who’s counting anyway.

My MIL is starting to go nuts and she starts and finishes every phone call with a complete check list of the things each member of the family still has to do. Since she calls me several times a day, I have the privilege of having a fully updated to-do list at all times. I was not as well informed about my own wedding preparations I tell you.

Tomorrow is the second, and hopefully final, wedding dress fitting. To be continued....

Sick as a dog

2006-05-25T12:11:00.000+01:00

I'm sick. I have a fever that won't come down, I have pus in my throat and I feel like I'm dying. It's amazing how one day you can be feeling perfectly well and the next you feel like something is draining the life out of you. Ugh

Good things

2006-05-22T16:48:00.000+01:00

Things are starting to look a little brighter at work. They have found a replacement for JP right here in our department. She’s a very nice girl I have worked with before, back when I started here 5 years ago. She’s not a genius, but she has lots of experience and I’m sure we can share the work load evenly. Oh, and she’s single and childless so that helps.
The project I’ve been working on will be over on Friday, which means no more business trips, at least for awhile. The fees we’ll get from it are also very nice and I can feel that promotion just a little bit closer.

As I said before, the trip to Israel is booked and paid for. We’ll leave for Tel Aviv on Sunday, July 30th, and we’ll be back a week later. We now have to take care of visas and stuff like that (not sure what we need to do). We’ll also try to make a detour into Jordan to visit some Lebanese and Syrian friends we met a couple of years ago. This is turning out to be more complicated than we first thought it would be, and we may not be able to go there at all. But what really matters is that we get to go on our dream trip to Israel… I still can’t believe we’re actually going!

The Wedding - Part VI

2006-05-18T13:18:00.000+01:00

The wedding is a month from yesterday, which means the level of stress is increasing by the day.
Last week we went for the first dress fitting and I was so relieved to see that it looks great and needs only a couple of minor adjustments. She will certainly be a beautiful bride. She borrowed my sister’s shoes that were so dirty I honestly thought she would never be able to clean them up. However, she brought them to the fitting and they looked as good as new, which was a nice surprise.
Here is a picture of her dress:

The menu has also been chosen, and unfortunately we didn’t go with the duck as I had suggested. I’m not even sure what they ended up choosing, but it was something simple, which always works best. The flowers are also decided and my SIL will make the centrepieces herself, all 18 of them (there will be 180 people, 18 tables of 10). My Mom took pictures of a centrepiece she used for one of her events last month (my Mom’s a PR) and my SIL will copy it. It’s simple but beautiful and I’ll try to get a picture of it to post here.

Yesterday my SIL picked R up from school and took her and the other flower girls to their dress fitting. R was so excited to try on her “princess dress” she didn’t even want to go to school in the morning.
In the evening, my BIL showed up at our house with a dress for me to see. Apparently my youngest SIL (the one whose dress was “stolen” by the older SIL) bought this dress but she wasn’t quite sure if it was appropriate for the occasion, so she had BIL bring it over so I could see it and give my opinion. She doesn’t seem to know the concept of digital cameras. Anyway, the dress was really nice, so it seems everyone now has appropriate outfits for the big day.

I finally tried on my dress and it looks so different now that I’m not breastfeeding (I bought it 2 months after M was born). I’m not so sure what to think of it now. Here’s a picture, what do you think, honestly?

Tough times lie ahead

2006-05-17T15:23:00.000+01:00

Things have taken a turn for the worse at work. My team currently has 4 people: my boss, JP, me and Isabel. My boss doesn’t like to work too hard, and he thinks he’s worked hard enough in past, so he basically does client relationship and delegates on us. Isabel is a young kid, fresh out of college, who helps out but can’t be given too much responsibility yet. So that leaves me and JP. We share the load of projects between us and we’ve both been swamped lately, has I’ve documented profusely here.

JP is leaving. He got a very good job offer elsewhere and he’ll leave by the end of next week. Which means… well, it basically means I’m fucked.

When I decided to work in an Investment Bank I knew I would have to work hard, I knew I would have to work nights, weekends, whatever was necessary. And I did, until I had R. When I got pregnant with her I talked to my boss (the old one) and offered to go to another department where I didn’t have to work as hard. He said he wanted me in his team, and everyone would make an effort to cover for me. So I hired a housekeeper/nanny and we agreed I would work 5 days a week, from 9 to 7, and would ask hubby to cover for me at home in the sporadic event that I would have to work a night or weekend here or there.
But a few years went by and I’m no longer the kid with little responsibility. I’m responsible for my own projects now and there’s no one who can cover for me. For the past few months I’ve asked my mom to go to my house at 7 (the time the housekeeper leaves), give the kids dinner and wait for either me or ZM to get home more often than I can count. Sometimes I go home, give them dinner, put them to bed and then come back to the office. I hardly ever have lunch at home with M anymore and I’ve had to work several weekends.
I thought this was just a phase, and it would all go back to normal once this project was done. But the fact is, with JP leaving and all, this is normal, this is what it’s gonna be like from now on. And I just can’t do this.

So now I’m faced with a tough decision. First of all, I love my job and don’t really want to quit. Second, we really need my income. And last but not least, finding a new job, with two kids and all, will not be easy. So what do I do?

On a totally different note…. We’re leaving for Israel on the 30th of July. I’m so happy, so anxious, so grateful.

Dreaming about Brazil

2006-05-15T11:26:00.000+01:00

I’m sorry it’s been so long since my last update but things got complicated at work. On Thursday I had a meeting at 10 am which wasn’t over until 9.30 pm, then Friday we drove to Porto at 7 am, came back to Lisbon at 8 pm and worked until 4 am. So you can imagine how I was feeling on Saturday morning. We went to the beach both Saturday and Sunday, I rested plenty and am now starting to feel human again. But meanwhile a new week has begun and it’s not gonna be an easy one. If we close this contract, I swear I’m going to take a day off and spend it at the spa.

At home things are going well. Manel is going through a complicated phase, and it’s a bit tiring for us. He doesn’t sit up unassisted for more than a few minutes yet, but he doesn’t want to stay in his chair or bouncer anymore. He likes to be on the floor, but he rolls over and tries to crawl but hasn’t quite learned how to yet. Which means someone has to be playing with him all the time. This morning I remembered we bought an exersaucer when R was going through this phase and I got it out of storing. I hope it gives him a little more independent time.

I’m starting to worry about the trip to Brazil (Lilian, we are going to Salvador. We’ve never been there but I hear it’s lovely). This week I’m going to try to give Manel jarred baby food. He’s only ever had homemade food and R hated anything that wasn’t homemade when she was a baby. Manel has been an easier eater so far so I’m really hoping he’ll like the jarred food. Otherwise I’m going to have to find a way to make his food at the hotel or he’ll go a whole week on fruit, yogurt and cereal alone. I’m also worried about packing. We have to take the stroller, the bumbo seat and probably the pack ‘n play, and of course diapers, formula, etc. The first time R travelled with us she was potty trained and eating regular food so this is really a first for us. I guess I’m probably making a big deal out of this and in the end it will all work out just fine. I’m so looking forward to this vacation!

Lifetime Oportunities

2006-05-09T09:55:00.000+01:00

A group of friends of ours is planning a trip to Israel in August (I know, I know, August is probably not the best month). When I read the email they sent inviting us to go I was so excited I nearly cried. I want to go so bad. This has been my dream for so long and the group is just absolutely perfect. The timing is also perfect, because we can both take time off that week and the kids will be at the beach house with my inlaws. Everything is just perfect.

But then we started talking about the logistics (meaning money) and we realized we won’t be able to make it. We have the trip to Brazil with my parents which is all scheduled and paid for (and my parents helped us out financially) and then we are replacing the elevator in our building, which will cost each apartment almost 5,000 euros. So unless we win the lottery, there’s just not enough money. I was devastated and I’ve been thinking about it for the past three days. I would give up almost anything to go on this trip, with these people.

Then this morning Zé Maria asked me “Do you really wanna go?”
To which I said yes. And I know he’ll try everything to make it happen.

The Wedding - Part V

2006-05-08T16:41:00.000+01:00

The invitations have been sent, the menu has been chosen (my choice was duck, but my SIL says many of her friends will not eat any bird meat because of the impending bird flu pandemia, even though they’re doctors and know they can’t get it from cooked meat, so we’re going with pork), the flowers are also decided. It’s getting close.

Last week my Mom took my SIL to the hairdresser to try the hairdo because with my recent work load she couldn’t keep waiting for me to go with her. They took pictures and she looked lovely, but then complained about how much the hairdo and make-up cost. Whatever.
Next Wednesday we have the first fitting on the wedding dress. They are a bit late but I think there’s enough time and no need to stress about it (the wedding is on June 17th, in case you don’t remember).

The problem now is what my other SILs will wear. And it’s about to become a soap opera.
My SIL who’s a nun (sorta) will wear a dress she borrowed from me. The dress is lovely (if I may say so myself) but it has no back so she’ll wear a blazer over it (also mine) the whole time. I tried to tell her it’s June and she’ll be too hot but she would rather die than show her back.
My SIL who’s a dentist (not that it has anything to do with what she’s wearing, just saying that to identify her) bought an ok-ish dress (which everyone tells her is lovely) but it has a pornographic cleavage. The only person who’s actually seen it on her was me and she says she won’t let the rest of the family see it on otherwise her father will forbid her to wear it (which is ridiculous, since she’s 28, but I can totally see him doing that). I think she’s making a huge mistake.
My youngest SIL (who’s a doctor, btw, just so you know what everyone does) had bought a dress (quite lovely) but then my older SIL ( a lawyer) tried it on and declared she was going to wear it so now we’re one dress short.
As for me, I bought one a while ago and will try it on again soon to see if it fits. My SIL, the dentist, hates it but I seriously doubt her taste so I don’t really care. I’ll take pictures of it and let you decide for yourself.

That’s it for now. To be continued…

Pictures

2006-05-04T09:54:00.000+01:00

Before I leave for yet another business trip, I leave you with some pictures of our weekend.

Still alive

2006-05-03T17:57:00.000+01:00

Work is absolutely crazy right now. Will be travelling again tomorrow. Weekend at the beach was fantastic. Pictures as soon as I can.

Too much work and too little sleep = cranky mommy

2006-04-27T12:23:00.000+01:00

Things have not been easy around here lately and thus the shortage of posts. My new boss (did I mention my old boss is now working in Poland?) is a lot less centralizing than the old one was, and he delegates a great part of his responsibilities on me. This is a good thing, really, since I’ve been working here for 5 years and was starting to feel underestimated.
However, the down side is that I’ve been positively swamped with work and the increased responsibility is taking a bit of a toll on me. To make things even better, Manel has been cranky lately (teething, I think) and has not been sleeping so well. In fact, I think I’ve slept a total of 10 hours since the weekend, which is so not enough.

Sleep deprivation is absolutely the worse thing ever. But some of it, I must say, is my fault. I’m always the one who wakes up with the kids at night because dh simply does not hear them when he’s asleep. He tells me to wake him up but if I’m awake anyway, there’s no reason to wake him up as well right?
But what’s really stupid is that when I do wake him up, I cannot go back to sleep until he comes to bed because I feel guilty that he’s awake and I feel bad that he’ll be tired. How absolutely stupid is this? He doesn’t feel guilty or bad when I’m up with the kids, and he thinks it’s ridiculous that I feel that way. And he’s right, it is ridiculous. But somehow I can’t help it, and so I find myself waking him up less often and then feeling resentful the next day because I’m not getting any help from him. Poor guy, he can’t win can he?

Spring at last

2006-04-24T14:34:00.000+01:00

It seems that spring is finally here and the weather is good enough to start spending some time at the beach. Tomorrow is a holiday here so we’re really hoping we’ll go for our first swim this year, and Manel will have his first-ever day at the beach.
Then Monday is a holiday again (no wonder the productivity in Portugal is so low) and we’re going to the beach house with my parents and my sister, brother in law and nephew for the weekend. I missed the sun.
The summer is also the time of year when our camera gets used more often, so you should expect an increase in the number of pictures as soon as my skin isn’t transparent anymore.

How cute are they?

2006-04-20T15:54:00.000+01:00

The fun is just beginning

2006-04-20T10:26:00.000+01:00

Manel is doing great. He is just the best, easiest baby ever. He sleeps through the night, he goes to sleep by himself in his own bed (oh how well I remember those long, endless hours rocking R to sleep, how my arms burnt and how I cried out of shear frustration), he takes long naps in his own bed (again, so different from his older sister who would only take naps in the stroller or in the car), he eats whatever we give him and he hardly ever fusses unless he’s tired or hungry. I feel I’m enjoying this baby-phase so much more now than I did with R, because I’m not always stressed and tired and drained.
Life with two children has been much easier than we anticipated and the fact that he is so less demanding than R was makes us consider having a third in a not so distant future.

Rosarinho is also doing great. She is a big girl now, and raising her is starting to present different challenges. She is less demanding in that she eats what we eat, she goes to the bathroom by herself, she doesn’t take naps, she can (mostly) dress herself… you get the picture. But she demands more attention; she wants to tell us about her teacher, her friends, what she learned in school, over and over again. She asks questions, tons of them; she remembers everything we say (even if you think she’s not listening) and repeats it exactly when she shouldn’t. I have an amazing, yet sometimes strenuous, feeling that in every action we take we are building her character and forever influencing who she will be in life. I’m aware, like I have never been before, that being a parent is the biggest challenge of our lives.

6 months

2006-04-18T09:53:00.000+01:00

Manel is 6 months old today. I can’t believe how fast these months went by and how he’s grown. He’s starting to sit up straight, he now eats solids 3 times a day and he’s starting to mimic us.

It seems like just yesterday I was finally getting the go ahead to start trying to conceive again, the horrible nightmare was finally over and we could regain control of our life. A year had passed since the words “this is not a normal pregnancy” had nearly destroyed me, and we were finally free.
It took us (only) 6 months to conceive M after that, but somehow it always feels like it took us almost 2 years, because that’s how long we had been planning and wanting him. Those were the longest and darkest 2 years of our life.

But you know what? Something I never thought would happen, did. Time healed those wounds. There are scars of course, but the wounds healed, and you end up forgetting about the scars most of the time. I thought I would never be the same person again, I thought something inside me had broken forever; I thought I’d never spend a day without thinking about it and mourning the loss of what could have been. But the fact is I was wrong. I do spend days, weeks, even months, when I don’t think about it. And I am the same person I was before, optimist, hopeful, intrinsically happy. And that’s because I am where I wanted to be in life; I have two beautiful children and a wonderful husband. Life has been generous indeed.

The Wedding - Part IV

2006-04-12T12:04:00.000+01:00

The invitations arrived and, of course, they messed up. The map of the place where the reception will take place was supposed to be printed separately, but they thought it would be a much better idea to just print it on the back of the invitation and save some trees. My SIL was inconsolable when she saw it but all 200 invitations are already printed and my MIL refuses to send them back. I told her it wasn’t so bad and no one will notice but the fact is, it’s kinda horrible.

Tomorrow I have the afternoon off so I’m taking SIL to my hairdresser so we can start thinking about what she wants to do with her hair. Thankfully, I fully trust Esmeralda (the hairdresser) because my SIL’s taste is, how can I put it?, less than perfect when it comes to hairstyle. R is insisting on coming with us and have her hair cut so that should be a fun afternoon at the salon.

The coir we had hired told us they can’t come after all and we’re trying desperately to find another one. At this short notice, it’s not going to be easy. The fabric for the flower girls dresses has been bought and the lady who’s making them will start working on them right after Easter. Finally, SIL’s trying on her dress on May 10th. That’s all I can think of for now.

To be continued….

We're back

2006-04-10T10:59:00.000+01:00

Barcelona was great. We walked a lot, we visited all the important sites, we had dinner at fancy restaurants, we shopped at nice stores. But most important of all, we spent time together, alone.
We missed the kids, of course, and they missed us (or at least R did; M smiled a lot when he saw us so I guess he missed us some too). But it was so worth it, as it always is.

I will post some pictures as soon as I download them. Today I’m going to Porto on the 4 pm flight, and I’ll be back on the 9 pm flight, so I’ll do that tomorrow.

A much needed vacation

2006-04-04T10:43:00.000+01:00

We are preparing to leave for Barcelona tomorrow. Preparations include making sure there are enough diapers, wipes, formula, meds, etc. It also includes planning all M’s meals (thankfully, R eats whatever we eat), and packing enough clothes to dress an army of babies, should he have any “leaks” or other accidents.
Our flight is at 2 pm so we’ll wake up at our usual time; take R to school and then take all the stuff over to my parents. We have decided to avoid early morning flights whenever we can.

I know I will miss them tremendously, as I always do. But I am looking forward to this vacation, Z and I desperately need this time alone, and the kids will be just fine with my parents. I’ll be back next Monday.

Sibling Love

2006-04-03T15:17:00.000+01:00

Yesterday we went to visit a nursing home for severely mentally disabled women. They like to have visitors, they like people to sing with them, to talk to them, to feed them… and they love it when people take babies to visit. So we had decided to bring Manel along but not Rosarinho, because she’s old enough that she would get too impressed.
When we told her she was staying with grandma and we would be right back she started a huge tantrum and wouldn’t let us leave. This is very unlike her; we leave them with the grandparents all the time and this was only for a couple of hours. I explained it to her but she just wouldn’t hear of it.
As I was trying whatever I could to convince her, I eventually told her we would leave M as well, not really expecting this to change anything. She immediately stopped crying and told us we could go, that she would be fine and would take care of him. Sometimes we don’t realize how attached she has become to him, and how lost she feels if he’s not around.

So when my MIL suggested that one of the kids stay with her when we go to Barcelona to make it easier on my mom, our answer was obviously no way. We couldn’t possibly separate those two.

Not Happy - Updated to A Bit More Happy

2006-03-31T14:46:00.000+01:00

The business trip went well, the vineyards overlooking the Douro River are just beautiful and the clients seemed really interested. That’s the good news.

The bad news is I’ll have to work tomorrow (Saturday) and I’ll have to go back to Porto on Monday and Tuesday. Since we’re leaving for Barcelona on Wednesday you can probably tell I’m not happy about this. The airport has become my second home.
I’m counting on a promotion in April/May and after I get it things will have to change. If I don’t get it… well, I don’t even like want to think about that.

Update: I will still have to work tomorrow, but I won't have to go to Porto next week afterall, which is v. good.

Yet another business trip

2006-03-28T16:09:00.000+01:00

I’m leaving tomorrow for yet another business trip to Porto. This time, I will stay there until Friday (2 nights), and I’ll be visiting vineyards is Douro (I’m not sure if I told you before, but we are selling a Port Wine company). I hear the vineyards are beautiful, especially in the Spring, and I’m looking forward to see it, since I’ve never been up in that part of the country.

However, I’m starting to feel guilty. I knew this was inevitable but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. As I gain more and more responsibility at work I knew I would have to travel more often and spend more time away from the kids. But M is only 5 months old and I can’t help but feel a knot in the pit of stomach, made even worse by the fact that we are going to Barcelona next week, thus leaving them once again.
To make things worse, I have a really big presentation tomorrow, also in Porto, and I’ll probably be working on it all night, which means I won’t see the kids today either. I’ll take R to school tomorrow, and give M his morning bottle, but that just isn’t enough.

I love this job, but I am seriously considering starting to look for something else.

The Wedding - Part III

2006-03-27T12:10:00.000+01:00

It seems I might have won the flower girls dresses fight after all. My SIL was seriously considering yellow as of yesterday. The colour of the waistband is yet to be decided but I’m happy already. She will buy the fabric this week and then there’s no turning back. And then I’ll buy some extra fabric and make something for M as well.
The invitations are also being printed this week and we should start sending them in a couple of weeks. They are doing an exact copy of our invitation. Not very creative, but it will work.

The problem now is the wedding list. They need about everything, but have absolutely no idea on which style to decorate the house. They ended up going to this really classic and old-style store, but everything was too expensive. Now they are going to Ikea to see what they have. Can you tell they’re confused?

My 15 year-old BIL came to me yesterday to ask if I could ask SIL to invite his girlfriend to the wedding. In this family, things don not work like that. When Z and I started going out, and even though everyone knew we were going out, one of my SILs had to introduce me as her friend, and for a long time (years), I was invited there in the quality of Joana’s friend. It’s kinda ridiculous, I know, but that’s the way it is. So inviting the kid’s girlfriend did not seem like a good idea. I did talk to my SIL though, and she said she’ll invite the girl to come to the party, after dinner, (as a friend, of course) and he was happy enough.

To be continued…

The things we learn while praying

2006-03-24T14:48:00.000Z

Every night, when we put R to bed, we pray with her. We ask her what she liked the most during the day, she thanks Jesus for it and then we say a small prayer. Usually the things she liked the most are stuff like going to grandma's house, or feeding the fish, or something she did at school. But sometimes she really surprises us.

A few weeks ago, while I was still on maternity leave, I went to pick her up at school (usually my housekeeper picks her up). That night I asked her what she had liked the most and the answer was "that mommy picked me up from school". It was really a slap in the face to realize how small things I sometimes don't do because I'm lazy have such a big importance for her. Now that I'm working I can't pick her up from school, but I can take a few minutes to do something special with her and I have to do it.

Then the day before yesterday Z asked her what she'd liked the most that day and she says "Gonçalo Oliveira" (one of her school buddies). And from that day on that's been her answer everytime.

The Wedding - Part II

2006-03-22T11:40:00.000Z

The wedding preparations and going along.
I lost the flower-girls dresses fight and it seems the poor kids are indeed going to wear a white dress with a brown/gold waistband. I was thinking more in terms of yellow or turquoise, or even white with a yellow or turquoise waistband. But white and brown? What can I say? I will post pictures as soon as R’s dress is ready.
I did, however, manage to convince them not to print the invitations at home, and actually have a professional make them. Win some, lose some.
These people, coming from such a big family, are obsessed about saving money. Flowers, as you probably know, are an expensive thing (at least here they are), and my SIL was livid when they told her a tulip bouquet would cost her 75 euros. She says she’ll make her own bouquet and she is also planning on making the centrepieces herself. One more thing I’ll try to talk her out of.

One major problem with this family is punctuality. Now, I admit I am a bit anal about this. I. Hate. Waiting. But most of all, I absolutely hate making other people wait. Hate it. But my in-laws are always at least 1 hour late for everything and several of my SILs and BILs are often sleeping at 2 pm when we get there for lunch on Sundays. It’s ridiculous.
The wedding is at 2.30 pm (a very bad time, if you ask me, but I lost this one as well), which means the photographer will be at my in-laws at 12.30 pm, which means everyone will have to ready by then. By everyone, I mean MIL and FIL, 5 SILs, 3 BILs, 3 grandparents and my niece. That’s 14 people. Do you know at what time the first person has to start taking a shower? Why doesn’t anyone else seem to be worried about this?

Of course, I’m the one who’s taking my SIL (the bride) to the hairdresser that day (my hairdresser, I don’t trust anyone else), and I want to be there at 9 am. She could come to the house, but with 7 other women there, it’s too much of a risk.

To be continued…

Pictures

2006-03-21T10:02:00.000Z

It’s been a while since I last posted any pictures hasn’t it? So here are a couple I took of the kids last night. Aren’t they just sweet when they’re sleeping?

Homecoming

2006-03-20T16:23:00.000Z

Homecoming was great. It’s always the best part of travelling isn’t it? R was over excited the whole weekend, she didn’t take a nap either day and I was kinda glad to see her go to school this morning. Gotta love the routine.
Yesterday was Father’s Day here, so today Z dropped her off at school, where they had coffee and cake for the dads, activities for them to do with the kids and of course, gifts made by the kids.

Today we took M to his brain ultrasound and, sure enough, the doctor said he’s fine. All this worrying was for nothing and I’m pissed that the x-ray technician would write a report like that. But it’s over now, and that’s all that matters.

From Porto - Part IV

2006-03-17T11:15:00.000Z

I’m finally going back home today. I must admit I didn’t think these 5 days would be this hard. I miss the kids and Zé Maria so much, I’m sick of being alone and I’m terribly homesick.
I’ve spent time away from Rosarinho before (not from Manel though, obviously). In fact, last year on our trip to the US we spent 10 days away from her. But it was always on vacation, with hubby and somewhere fun. This is different. I’m alone here, I have to work all day and have nothing to do at night. I’m so ready to go home now.

Yesterday my Dad was here, also on a business trip, and we went out for dinner. He showed me around the city (which he knows well and I know not) and took me to this really fancy restaurant. The food was great, the company too and it was a nice change from dining alone at the mall. Today we are taking the same flight back to Lisbon, which is also nice. My Mom organized a family dinner at her house tonight, with my sister and her family, and informed me that my Dad and I will take a cab from the airport and meet them there. What I really wanted was for Z and the kids to pick me up at the airport and just go home. But my Mom seems to think that my coming home is cause for celebration. With her, anything is an excuse for a family dinner. Ugh

From Porto - Part III

2006-03-16T09:47:00.000Z

Although I’m starting to really get home sick, I’ve been doing my best to enjoy the time I have to spend here.
My hotel is very close to two of the city’s biggest malls so I’ve been shopping a lot. I bought gifts for the kids, for hubby and also for my Mom, who always asks me to bring her something when I travel (she’s almost like a kid herself sometimes). And of course, a little something (or things to be more accurate) for myself.
But there is only so much time you can spend shopping (in my case at least, because some of my friends can easily spend a lifetime shopping), so last night I went to the movies. I saw Brokeback Mountain. It’s a sad, romantic story and it’s quite entertaining, but if you ask me, it didn’t deserve the oscar anyway.
This evening I’m having dinner with my Dad, who comes to Porto on business every week.

Yesterday I called R at 7 pm and she said I was late. When I told her I wouldn’t be home for a couple more days she asked me if I miss her. She sounded kinda sad but when I said I had bought her a gift she got all excited. Kids are so easy to please.

Things are going really well back home. My SILs have been helping Zé Maria a lot, and he even went to one of our friends’ birthday party yesterday and left the kids with one of them.
I know I’m incredibly lucky that I can leave my kids alone with their dad for a whole week. Most of my friends wouldn’t leave their kids alone with their husbands for one night, let alone a week. Zé Maria really is the best father. And I’m also incredibly lucky that I can leave them with my parents to travel with my husband, We’re leaving for Barcelona in less than 3 weeks!

Crisis over

2006-03-15T11:19:00.000Z

A perfect nonsense. That's how the neuro-surgeon described the x-ray report.

He looked at his head, checked the record of his encephallic perimeters from birth, looked at the x-ray and said this is the typicall case of a position-caused problem that will correct itself within 6 months. He was absolutely adamant that he does not need an MRI.
He will have the brain ultrasound on Monday, as schedulled, because it's standard procedure.

So no MRI and no sedation on Saturday. I'm so relieved.

Neuro-surgeon appointment tomorrow

2006-03-14T12:15:00.000Z

From Porto - Part II (updated)

2006-03-14T10:21:00.000Z

I’m writing this from my hotel room in Porto. Don’t you just love hotel rooms? People say they’re cold and lonely but I completely disagree. I heart hotel rooms. And hotel breakfasts, aren’t they the best?
Despite my confessed love for hotel rooms, I wish I was home with hubby and the kids. This morning I woke up at 5 am to catch the first flight here. I called Zé Maria and he says Manel slept uninterruptedly until 8. He hadn’t been sleeping so well lately, since the gastroenteritis, so I was happy to hear that he’s apparently back to his old self and hubby will be sleeping properly. Makes it easier for me to enjoy my time away.

So, since I do have to stay here for a whole week, I might as well make the best of it right?
I’ve spent the day working and am now going to take a shower and then go to the mall, maybe see a movie and grab a bite to eat. Then I’m gonna come back to the hotel and read a bit before going to bed.

Update
I ended up not going to the movies after all. I had dinner, bought Rosarinho a gift and went back to hotel, where I read and watched TV. And slept 9 hours straight!
This morning I spoke to Zé Maria and Manel slept through until 6.30, which wasn’t so bad. And R slept in our bed with him. It seems they’re doing fine without me.

From Porto - Part I

2006-03-13T12:03:00.000Z

I'm in Porto already, and I have internet access, which is a good surprise. I'll be here all week, supervising a data room, which basicly means surfing the internet while looking really really busy.

As for Manel’s situation, I must say I’m much calmer now than I was when I first read the x-ray report. What it says is that his head is abnormally shaped (but we knew that just from looking at it right?) and that this abnormality can be related to an abnormal development of the brain (I’m not sure if “related” means it can cause said abnormal development or can be caused by it). It’s their job to say what the worse scenario is, but both M’s pediatrician and the pediatric surgeon said they think it’s nothing. And my gut instinct tells me the same. Anyway, a good friend of my SIL’s is a neuro-radiologist and I called her up. She will do the MRI on Saturday, and we’ll clear this up. The problem is, Manel will have to be sedated for this. I know it’s only a mild sedation, not nearly a general anesthetic, but still, the idea of my baby being put under is scary as hell. But we’ll live through it, and I’m sure everything will be fine.

Back on the rollercoaster

2006-03-10T22:26:00.000Z

The x-ray report was not good.
It says they observe alterations in Manel's skull that can be related to alterations in his brain development. It strongly suggests an MRI of the brain.

More later.

In which I'll be gone for a week

2006-03-10T10:00:00.000Z

On Monday I’m going on a business trip to Porto and I’ll be there all week until Friday. That’s 4 nights people! 5 days and 4 nights for hubby to take care of the kids all by himself. Well, maybe not ALL by himself but still…
It should actually be 5 nights because on Monday I have to be there at 9 a.m. But I decided to take the 7 a.m. flight (which means getting up at 5.30) just so he doesn’t have to spend one more night alone.

I admit I’ve been worrying about this, and I’ve tried to convince him to let me ask one of his sisters to stay over until I come back. But he just won’t have it. I’m worried that he won’t get any sleep, that he’ll be exhausted from working and taking care of a toddler and a baby and then not getting any sleep to recover. Granted, my housekeeper comes at 9 a.m. everyday and leaves at 7 p.m., she picks up R from school, bathes both kids and prepares dinner. And my mom says she’ll come help him with dinner and bedtime everyday. But still, I’m kinda uncomfortable.

So this morning, after a rough night (R had to pee at 5 a.m., thus waking M up, who then wanted to be fed) I told him I would take both kids out of the house both Saturday and Sunday morning so he could sleep late and rest before I leave. You know what he asked? Why was I so worried about him waking up with the kids at night after a day’s work if that is what I do everyday? You know what? He’s absolutely right. Why should I worry about it? I do that everyday and I’m fine, so I’m sure he will be too.

So I started looking on the bright side of all this. And let me tell you, this will be one hell of a week for me. I’ll work from 9.30 a.m. to 6.30 p.m. and then I’m totally and completely free. I’ll go to the movies, grab some dinner or order room-service, read a book, watch some TV, go to bed at 11 and sleep. Doesn’t it sound like heaven?

So far so good

2006-03-09T12:10:00.000Z

Yesterday I took Manel to the pediatric surgeon, mainly to rule out a congenital torticollis. And we were successful at that. He says Manel’s neck is fine, his movement range is fine, and the only reason he looks right all the time is because he’s used to it. We are doing all the right things to change that and I even think we are starting to see some improvement.

Then we talked about the other scenario, which is that his skull bones are not closing properly and he would need a helmet or eventually surgery to correct it. This is not his specialty and he says that if either the x-ray or the ultrasound should show anything suspicious we should go to a neurosurgeon. However, his opinion is that the flat head is merely an esthetical issue which will get better once he starts being upright more often and once he’s used to looking left. He told me several times it was most likely nothing to worry about.

So we’re a lot less worried now. We’ll wait for the results on the ultrasound and x-ray to be absolutely sure but I’m sure we’ll sleep a lot better now.

New worries

2006-03-07T11:28:00.000Z

Having a child is and endless source of entertainment. In this case, not in a good way.

Manel's head is flat on the back, a little to the right. It wasn’t always like that but we’ve noticed it a couple of months ago. We are convinced it’s from lying down all day, and since he usually turns his head to the right it got that funny shape.
Yesterday, I asked the ped about it. She looked at it and she thinks it's a little more flat than normal. She says many kids get this and it’s only positional (what we think), and it eventually goes back to normal once they start sitting upright. However, since Manel’s is a little more flat than usual, she wants to run some tests just to make sure the bones in his skull close properly and do not get on top of each other.
So today he's going in for a skull x-ray, then tomorrow we have an appointment with a pediatric surgeon to rule out a problem with his neck (which would explain why he always turns his head to the right) and next week he has a brain ultrasound. Once everything is done, we're to take all the results back to her and if something is wrong, then we'll take him to a neurosurgeon to see if he has to have surgery to correct the skull.
The scenarios are:
1 – it’s just positional and it’ll go away on its own
2 – he has a problem in his neck muscles and will need physical therapy
3 – his bones are not closing properly and he’ll need surgery to correct it
The ped says she only had 1 case where surgery was necessary, in 30 years of practice. She thinks it’s most likely nothing but wants to be on the safe side. And so do we, of course. So the next few days are going to be a bit stressful. I’ll update regularly.

Sick baby, tired mommy

2006-03-06T12:33:00.000Z

Manel is sick. He threw up twice last night and has horrible diarrhea. I had to change his clothes about fifty times this weekend and the laundry basket this morning looked so scary my housekeeper almost had a heart attack.
I’m not sure what to do about it, since his diet is not that varied and he does not like to be fed water. I gave him his bottle this morning and he’s kept it down so far so hopefully he’s getting a little better.
On a very happy coincidence, my sister asked me to switch ped appointments with her (D’s was today, M’s on wednesday) because she can’t make it today, so at least I’ll be able to get him seen soon. I just hope whatever he has can be cured before my business trip next week (more on that later), or else hubby is gonna go nuts.

Tired, so tired.

2006-03-03T17:09:00.000Z

I had forgotten how unstable and unpredictable life can be with a small baby. Everything is a potential cause for disturbance, from a minor change in their usual routine to a change in their diet or a more-crowded than usual room. And just like that, your life will change.
Manel is a very easy child. He eats everything we give him, he loves his veggies, his cereal, he sleeps through the night since he was 2 months old, he smiles all the time. Well… not anymore. Or at least not for the past few days anyway.
For some reason (definitely of an intestinal nature, judging from the smell), he hasn’t been able to sleep for 2 hours straight since last Monday. He wakes up screaming and twitching, clearly in pain, and nothing I do seems to help. I’m so tired it’s not even funny. We have to get our old baby back, as soon as possible, at the risk of me loosing my sanity.
I do have a plan. I’m going to switch the cereal to lunch time and the veggies to dinner time, because cereal is harder to digest and maybe that’s what’s giving him trouble at night. I’m also going to start giving him apple sauce this weekend and see if that helps. And I bought this herbal tea my best friend swears works wonders with her baby. Hopefully one/all of these will have a positive effect.
It’s amazing how sleep deprivation (even if it is just for a few nights) can affect my mood. Argh.